Germany - Munich / Bavaria

 I'm sure a lot of you - or at least those who have put any thought into it - may be wondering why I'm all of a sudden back in Germany. Well I was told by several people (including a stranger in a cafe who was listening to a conversation) that there just isn't much happening in central Germany. So I made a detour to Prague, which became a whole thing in the Czech Republic, but I've finally returns to G-town in the form of Munich. The capital of the south.

Munich is kind of the economic powerhouse behind Germany. Berlin is 'poor but sexy' - Munich is where the strict, time-orientated and unintentionally rude stereotype of Germany comes from. I was fortunate enough however to couchsurf with the ever-delightful Murat who is Turkish but has lived in Germany for several years. All the delights of Germany without having to apologise for existing too loudly. Murat's beard and long hair were both amazing - obviously we got on well.

(Majestic. Even in the face of a "Hey Murat, SMILE!")

I only really spent one day in Munich, and then one day in Bavaria but both were v. satisfying, y'know?

Munich Day involved such a logical path of activities I was impressed at myself. The market on Viktualienmarkt, the English garden for a rest (and naked people ... Germany does that you guys), watched the river surfers, saw the angel of peace, strolled around the technology museum, saw a church or whatever and then went back to the apartment to have some beers and pasta with Murat.

(Like Couch Surfing but on a river instead)

(Gold and grey - you guys I should be a famous photographer)

Now I've GOT to say that Munich has the largest science and technological museum in THE WORLD. So you'd think "Oh Kris, you studied science, you'd love this place!". Wrong. Well ... not right in any case. This place is super big yeah but it's full of things like steam engines and water wheels. Even the 'Modern Technology' part which I really wanted to see was pretty dull. Not really hands on; just a lot of stuff to look at. I don't need to see a picture of a DNA analysis machine ... show me cool genetic experiments!

(Literally the two most interesting things in the museum - and both involve meeeee)

It was a beautiful day and I had a great time walking around town! I had an amazing sandwich (aubergine and sundried tomatoes largely but with a pesto-y mayo) and some cherries at the market so I still actually managed not to spend too much money. I've been looking for some cheese from Norway that I discovered but alas ... Just as well as the morning was spent trying to wrangle with banks and eventually getting my friend in England to send some money etc. Don't lose your bank card overseas kids! It's a fucking pain.

The next day I was amped to head to the south and do some hiking in Bavaria. This is the south part of Germany with the alps and awesome natural sights; it's also the place where lederhosen, big steins of beer and food bigger than your face come from. However the weather was a bit grey - forecast to thunder! I manned up and jumped on the train anyway. I had planned to go to one town in particular but then the train I caught was heading straight to another town that I had also investigated so I just went there instead... Tegernsee.

(Pretty innit)

At the station I just started walking uphill and eventually found myself on a walking trail strolling though a forest. After quite an uphill climb the path opened up to a fantastic open field at the top. There was a restaurant at the top but I ONLY HAD 6 EURO so I couldn't buy anything. Well ... nothing GOOD. So I strolled back down and as I went I started to collect wild flowers which I put in my beard. Passerbys loved it. I removed them before I hit general public in town don't worry.

(Four pictures in a row - can you handle it?)

At the bottom, in the town, I had a quick exploration and found beautiful houses all with flowers! I was absolutely dying for a typical Bavarian feast so I asked the tourist office (cringe) for the nearest typical Bavarian restaurant (cringe) - a short walk later and I was sitting in an outside beer hall and you guys ... the pork knuckle I had was ... cathartic. I gorged on pork and beer (plus pretzel) for quite a while until I walked, slowly, back to the train.

(At the time of writing this - the memory is still vivid)

Munich was great! A really cool city. I had arranged for a carpool from Munich ALL THE WAY TO LYON (which took 11 hours) and while I was waiting for my ride a lady stopped, spoke German, then said in English "Are you lost? Do you need some help?". That, my friends, was the perfect way to end my time in Germany. I didn't really need help lady but gosh darn THANK YOU for asking!!

Czech Republic - Prague / Bruno / Ceske Budejovice / Cesky Krumlov

Prague

"Oh Prague is LOVELY" - is pretty much the first thing anyone says when I say I'm going to Prague. I get it! You've all been there! Well now I have too ... and it's LOVELY!

(So lovely)

So I was malingering around Eastern Germany for a while waiting for this couch surfer to host me until he cancelled due to being sick. This meant I could head to Prague earlier and just find a hostel instead. I was perusing hostelworld and saw a hostel that had a 94% rating, was 12euro a night and included breakfast. I thought "hot damn! great deal!" booked it and organised a carpool for the very next day.

The car poolers were great! Two Germans that were just spending a nice weekend in Prague. I ended up bumping into them while walking around the city actually. If they weren't a couple on a romantic holiday I totally would have insisted we all grab a drink together. Shame. I got dropped off in the city and made my way to the hostel (after helping a lady who was literally trying to carry a punching bag). In Germany I had a German SIM card so I had ALL the internet! In The Czech Republic however I didn't have shit! It was hard to go back to scrounging for wifi, looking for the closest fast food chain to get internet from, choosing cafes based on the wifi signal etc. Ordinarily it wouldn't be a problem and I would just go offline for a while but because I'm doing couchsurfing and carpooling blah blah blah I needed to respond to people quite quickly. Anyway. The hostel was not that close to the city but it was on the underground system so it was ok.

(It's sort of like my Nanna's place)

I'm not quite sure why the hostel got such a high rating. It was essentially a house. An unclean house that had furniture everywhere. You know those houses where people have just accumulated crap? So there's framed pictures of knitted horses on walls and bizarre lamps that you can see aren't connected to a power source. However, I did have my own room and, as mentioned, it was cheap as balls.

Prague, the old part, is very pretty. I won't lie. However it is also a MEGA tourist trap. It's essentially boxed in by a river so it feels like the tourists are literally being herded together to spend money. I spent a day or two walking around. There was a guided walking tour but the man was waaaaaay too enthusiastic so I bailed after about 10 minutes. He connected his phone to a speaker worn around his waist and would strum notes on a guitar app? I didn't want to see what else he had in store. All the major sites are quite easy to find anyway - what was harder was finding somewhere that felt authentic.

(The sunshine belies the dark clouds)

So on my second last day I went to go meet Hugo. He lives on the other side of the river boxing everyone in and we spent some time at a beer garden that over looked the city. It was beautiful! We had some dinner and then he invited me to go to a batchelor party. I'll give you some context on this - it deserves it - Hugo used to work with a guy, this guy was getting married but until this point hadn't bothered to organise a batchelor party, until his wife-to-be called his WORK COLLEAGUE to organise a batchelor party and invite some people. Unfortunately the work colleague didn't really know who to invite or what to do so everyone just ended up going to a bar. I was lucky that people were friendly and could speak English but we just had a few shots of peppermint schnapps for some reason and left again. Weird.

On the last day I checked out the cool national gallery (surprisingly not filled with boring crap - there was some actually substantially interesting stuff) walked to the castle and back through town. I had been doing so much walking that I just wanted to chill out so I spent some time at the 'hostel' or in cafes. I organised to catch a bus to Brno - The Czech Republic's second biggest city. These buses have TVs in their seats, free wifi, a powerpoint and free hot beverages. I watched Gravity.

(The 'small' hall)

(Isn't this guy a babe? Frantisek Kupka - a well renowned Czech artist)

Brno

I had arranged to stay with Peter who is Slovakian (Slovak?) but lives in the Czech Republic. Apparently the languages are similar enough that he just speaks Slovakian (Slovak?) at work and people respond in Czech. I stayed two nights and while Peter worked I would explore the city. Because there aren't nearly the number of tourists as Prague (plus there's a lot more space) the town just has a really laid back atmosphere. There's a cathedral and a castle etc. but it was interesting just walking around the city.

Peter wanted to show me some of his favourite places so we had ribs at a great Czech restaurant, and went to some cool bars. We eventually met his friend and went to a bar that is down a dark alleyway and mostly hidden from sight. If I wasn't drinking a beer there - I'd probably be raped there. Towards the south west there's an area of buildings that were created by people a while ago out of whatever they could find. A kind of shanty town. It's up on a hill and it's a bit exhausting to walk there but eventually you get to this bar and it was awesome! We walked across the city to this electroswing party that was happening inside an old castle. There were just a lot of cool things happening, you know?

(Peter in front of a big wall. I should be a photographer you guys. So art. Much wall,)

It was also here that I noticed the bright colours that Czech buildings come in. Buildings that are lime green and yellow, blocks of flats in rainbow colours, the brighter the better really! This vain attempt to paint over communism is really quite charming! I think it portrays a certain sense of determined social progression. Those Czechs are working hard!

(I believe in you!)

Brno is also the home of GREGOR MENDEL! This was a complete surprise to me and was only discovered while idly flicking through a guidebook and finding a page labelled 'local celebrities'. Gregor Mendel is one of the fathers of genetics - my major at university. Truth be told he was father of the kind of genetics that I find a bit boring (Charles Darwin is the father of the science I prefer). I actually found it really engaging though to walk around the abbey where he planted his peas and developed his theory of trait inheritance. The museum was pretty dull - they really could have spiced it up a little maybe with some eye colour stuff or interesting anomalies blah blah. However it was pretty much to-the-point ... for better or worse.

(Gregor Gregor Mendel Mendel)

Ceske Budejovice

Working my way across the various cities I arrive at Ceske Budejovice - as irritating to say as it is to type I assure you. CB has nothing really noteworth other than the fact that Budweiser is originally from here. Not being an avid Bud drinker this doesn't really flash on my awesome-radar but it does mean everytime I meet a Bud-swilling 'Merican I can give my two cents. Look forward to that world.

However I do like that the city is virtually tourist free and I suppose it was more of a chance to take part in regular Czech life. I was staying with Jakub and his mother through couch surfing (in an olive green and pink block of apartments) and can I say what lovely people they are! They both showed me around the town - such as it is - and were very hospitable the whole time. During my stay there was a jazz festival that Jakub helped to organise so we went to that at various times across the two days I stayed. The final night had some flamenco music! Everyone loves flamenco.

Jakub and his mother are both vegetarian and it was a joy to finally get some VITAMINS into my system. It was nice actually - being in a city where there wasn't much to do because it meant I didn't have to do much! I've been spending a lot of time trying to organise my next few steps as I'm so shit at it! As I'm trying not to spend money I'm forced to do things cheaply but it just takes so much more work.

(Taken from the tower. It's tall but it's not, like, TALL tall)

Cesky Krumlov

Jakub's mother and her friend were going to see an art exhibition in this beautiful small town on the same day that I wanted to travel there so a quick 20 minutes later and we were strolling into Cesky Krumlov. It's a lovely small town hidden among cliffs and rivers. There's a castle, live bears (LIVE BEARS) and a sea of old pretty houses. There are also a fuck tonne of tourists and the opportunity to go paddling in the river. I did not participate in the latter due to the former but around lunchtime I sat by the river in a quiet out-of-the-way place and watched them go by slowly.

(Artist's sentiment noted. No need to point out. Posted on purpose.)

It's a peaceful town and it was nice to just walk around. It reminded me a lot of a videogame town actually - pipe music playing, nooks and crannies to explore, quite small but there was still lots to do. At one stage I was sitting in the main square and an old man called Jan sat next to me and almost delved into his life story. I say 'almost' as he was essentially explaining what happened in the two world wars and I don't really need an old man to explain it to me while I'm sitting in the sunshine so instead we just had a small chat about the usual things "Australia? That's a long way away! Are you here on a Eurotrip? Oh you're in London. That's closer. What do you teach? I never liked science in school but these days I find it very interesting".

(Kris)

(This is where I chilled out with one of those cinnamon log things)

I strolled around for a few hours and eventually I made my way to the bus stop. My plan was to go straight from Cesky Krumlov to Munich however due to the whole COMMUNISM thing the east-west transport links are a bit grim. Instead I decided to head up to Prague for one night then head to Munich. It was gay pride in Prague over the week I was away but on the final night (the night I was there) they had a cool outdoor party by the river so I hung out with my friend Hugo and his friends - I had a really nice time!

So I'm off to Munich for a few days now and that will round off My Germany trip and handball me into France!

Germany - Leipzig and Dresden

Sometime around Hamburg my friend from highschool/university/life Lauren sent me a message saying she was in Leipzig. Leipzig is a smallish city about 2 hours south west of Berlin. It would have been a waste to have come all this way and not meet each other and as I didn't really have any plans so I thought it'd be perfect!

So after Berlin I hopped on a bus and headed straight there. The hostel was quite cheap and had a great rating on hostelworld. It was pretty good except for the fact that there weren't many people staying there! On my stroll to the hostel I realised I didn't have my bank card which is pretty lame you guys. Turns out the combination of not having a wallet and wearing pretty short shorts can lead to things falling out of my pocket. Does make me wonder what else I might have lost ... aside from my dignity obvs... get it guys?

So I've got my Australian card and I've been using that so far. I can get emergency funds sent from my English account but it takes a few days and I'm moving around too much! I think in Munich I'll be able to work something out. Shall see!

So I met up with Lauren quite quickly (after an interlude with my bank) and we relaxed with a few beers before chowing down on a schnitzel FEAST. Hollandaise sauce, it turns out, is totally appropriate with a lot of stuff. Like schnitzel! Afterwards I went back to the hostel and met a cool Australian guy called Max who had been hitchhiking around Germany. He was a pretty cool guy - we made vegetable soup and he made a mean egg/bacon sandwich. Later on when leaving the hostel I really wanted to take some of the vegetable soup with me so I ended up jamming some into an empty water bottle. TURNS OUT it was SUCH a good idea! Had some veggie soup in Dresden! So phresh.

(Max chopping dem toms)

There was another guy in the hostel who would have been in his mid-30s, not very attractive, who immediately geared conversation to hooking up with chicks and how he prefers to go back to their place - describing it as a lioness bringing the prey back to the den? Otherwise he'd have to have sex with them in a communal toilet area in the hostel which he then pointed out to us. The guy was clearly a douchebag. So much so that I had to mention it in this blog.

I met up with Lauren the day after too! I went for a walk around the town with the hairiest man I have ever encountered (very interesting) and eventually met up with Lauren and had a brief picnic at her work/home of Leipzig University before meeting up with some of her friends at a Beer Garden. Leipzig is a very pretty city - parts of it felt almost Disney-esque. Flower lined streets with pretty wooden-framed windows, sunshine, opera playing in the main square etc. I think Leipzigers would be pretty happy with what they have.

(obviously excuse the construction)

(Arty ceiling shot)

(Does YOUR city have this?)

I went to the art gallery in town at the recommendation of the hairy man and I must say I have never felt so oppressed in a gallery. There were clearly more workers in this gallery than there were guests and they had eyes like a HAWK! Case in point, you walk into a room and there are simply three identical doors. You go for the middle one and oh hey! There's a mechanical heart beating inside. Interesting! You go back out and as you reach for the handle of one of the other doors the gallery employee shouts angrily to not touch it. It's a door handle lady. In a room of three doors. One of the doors worked, why wouldn't this door work? If there's no sign and if the door won't open for me anyway then CALM THE FUCK DOWN! Let me TRY the door then move on when it doesn't open! Jesus Christ. I felt I was being stared at the whole time.

(What the fuck, right?)

Unfortunately, around this time in my trip I was a bit stuck in what I should do or where I should go next. Losing my bank card was a massive bummer and had caused me to start looking into couchsurfing a lot more. I had a couch surfing guy in Prague willing to host me but it was still a few days away so I sort of had time to kill. I ended up going to Dresden as I mentioned but in the end it was a bit unnecessary ... the host cancelled on me as he was getting sick. I was overcome with an urge to keep moving, and that I was somewhat stagnating in one area (Berlin, Leipzig and Dresden are all very close to each other after all).

I left Leipzig and headed to Dresden via a carpool service which turned out to be a bit of a nightmare actually. This is a 3/4 paragraph problem so buckle up. Leipzig station has a west and an east hall - two different entrances to the same station. The carpool I had organised told me to be at the east entrance where 'all the travellers meet'. So on time I was standing at the east entrance when I realised my phone's internet wasn't working. I had become quite reliant on it actually - to the point where I didn't really bother remembering much information as I thought I'd just be able to send a message to the guy if there were any problems. All of sudden there WERE problems so I ran into the closest phone shop and asked the man for some help.

In any case, this was all about 5 minutes past the meeting time so when the internet did finally start working on my JUDAS OF A PHONE it was too late. I then immediately set out to find a new carpool and found one an hour later. The whole time though I was in the phone shop using their phone with my big back pack, speaking English and being a pain ... I bought the guy a big cookie at the end as a thank you.

So THIS carpool guy said meet at the east entrance too and yet, when the time came, nothing! Except this time I COULD communicate with the driver and I realised that they were both implying that there is actually an entrance to the building on the east facing wall - and not simply out the front of the east hall of the station. I feel that this isn't really a fault on my part ... that's really vague isn't it? If a building has an east and a west hall entrance then you need to be SPECIFIC that you mean the eastern entrance of the eastern hall. Not just 'meet at the east entrance'. In any case I got the carpool and got the lift I needed.

(I later had some messages with the first carpool guy apologising and explaining what happened. He completely understood and has adapted his messages to this format:

"Hey maria , you are welcome to drive with me. we will meet us here on friday the 15th at 13.30 location 51°20'40.2"N 12°23'03.1"E or check here http://goo.gl/maps/W5wYE . Please be there on time or better 5min earlier. If you cant be there please let me know asap because the seat is now reserved for you. See u on friday. Have a nice weekend. Matthias"

You're welcome Maria!)

I was able to book one night in Dresden on a Friday as the Saturday night after was booked out. Not thinking too much about it - half expecting a cancellation or whatever - I just sort of went with it and arrived at the hostel. Just as an FYI hostel owners out there, don't charge extra money on top of the booking costs for linens when they're mandatory - just include it in the overall price. Plus this tourist tax that is all the rage these days? I'm sorry ... I didn't realise I needed to PAY for the PRIVELEDGE of spending money in your city.

(oh you haven't paid the sunset tax yet? Yes, that's extra)

There were a lot of Germans in this hostel from other parts of Germany. More than I would have anticipated. In fact, it turns out that Germans flock to Dresden in summer and as it further turned out - there was absolutely no accommodation for Saturday night. At. All. Tried every hostel in the area to no avail and eventually tried out couch surfing which luckily worked! Stayed the night at a fellow named Martin's place after a few beers together.

(I can't rotate it but this took a lot of WERK. That circled place just didn't pick up but it was very unlikely they would have any vacancies)

Dresden is actually a pretty nice place. It was bombed to pieces by the British during the war (for reasons unclear) but was rebuilt quite successfully. There are loads of old looking buildings and even more fountains. A lot of fountains. Every turn there was a new fountain to behold. The first hostel was in the 'alternative' part so had some really cool restaurants and beer gardens. It's legal to drink on the street so everyone does it!

(Nice, pretty building)

(Oh look! A fountain! Shit what a surprise!)

I didn't spend too long in Dresden and instead opted to grab yet another carpool to Prague. This one went down without a problem.

Germany - Berlin

Berlin Day 1:
Arrived to the Berlin and then to the Hostel. The surly man at train station had not dampened my mood for the city but I was not particularly looking forward to the 16 bed dorm that awaited me. I left things last minute again - what?! However the hostel was not bad at all! Cool atmosphere yeah. Not so cool were the gaggle of 18 year old Irish girls desperate to go out. A desperation so fierce it was ... strange. I fell asleep at 2:30am to a serious conversation about which Spice Girl each of the girls would be and a declaration that tonight was to be a 'photo' night - the girls proceeded to take sporty action shots. Individually they were nice but they had the need for some dancefloor action so off they went.

(Greeted by THIS GUY!)

(Berlin: Hot and full of WASPS)

Berlin day 2:
I decided to start off my Berlin experience by hitting up the GERMAN HISTORY MUSEUM. I breezed through the uninteresting pre-war era section (because if Australian history is a hazy mess then why spend too much time on another country's?) but found quite an interest in the WW2/holocaust/Berlin wall section. Afterwards I took a quick stroll before meeting Farsan (friend I met in Barcelona). We decided to eat burgers for lunch then spend the afternoon drinking by canals to the south.  Only one person waved at us on a passing boat.

(Persuasive)

(Pretty building there B-town)

(Canalriffic)

Berlin day 3:
Day of main touristy shit. The Brandenburg Gate is not as interesting as thought (or perhaps as exactly as interesting as thought) so instead I opted to nap in the nearby park. Post-nap I make an effort to walk around and discover the currywurst museum. It was inexplicably expensive and no doubt inexplicably uninteresting so it was skipped. I do decide though to have some currywurst for cultural purposes.
Haul ass over to Spreepark in the west to visit an abandoned amusement park. After discovering the entrance was locked, I then discovered two fun Germans with a gleam in their eyes, and together we slip through a hole in the fence. Shortly after however we are discovered by security guard and forced to leave. Trespassing is thrilling!
Finally meet up with a 'friend' who lives nearby and tag along for a car ride around town, a few beers and finally a nice dinner with his family. The strangeness of the situation is barely noticeable - the diner was delicious!

(Brandenburg gate as a knuckleduster)

(It's just cut up sausage y'all)

(Ferris Bueller)

Berlin Day 4:
Found a strange ex-hospital that now hosts artist workshops and doesn't appear to feel the need to lock any doors. Explored for a bit and learned about the urban sprawl of Berlin (so much FREE SPACE) then continue to wander around town in soft alcoholic daze until persuaded by hostel folk to join an 'alternative walking tour' which ends up being really cool. We visit some unique locales along the way until the Berlin wall is reached and it's cool. Really cool. Artists have really done some beautiful works on something that represented so much hate. Although the East side is much cooler than the west side. Met some French Canadians for the first time and am finally forced to acknowledge that there is a vast portion of Canada where people learn French as their first language.

(Your office isn't at the ass end of a Lionel Richie Lion?)

(Deep. Especially those ones on the wall there)

(YAAM - Young African Art Market. The Caribbean in Berlin)

(Please dont feel the need to comment on the shorts. They're amazing obvs.)

Berlin day 5:
Head to flea market somewhere in the city, drink in the bleeding heat until eventually migrating to a bier festival. It never really occurred to me to go to an international bier festival when I had, after all, just come to GERMANY of all places. However the international part of the title may as well have not been there - watched a German man dance to German songs with a German beer and a German sausage. Am further convinced to head to the Berghain - one of the worlds 'best night clubs'. Now listen. The Berghain is guarded at the door by a security guard called Sven and Sven is the last word on who gets in and who doesn't. There is no strict rule that indicates whether he will say yes or no - no particular clothing style that is favoured - no tricks or tips to help - you just have to turn up and see what he says. Wouldn't ordinarily be a problem except the nightclub is pretty far out of the way and people can be waiting for up to 3 hours. I just feel like Berlin is a city which is full of immigrants, squatters, artists, poor people and the like but is still happy to accept them all with open arms. Then there's the Berghain which openly and proudly admits to rejecting people for absolutely no reason. Case in point, many people get rejected because they're not German!

When we arrive there is no queue and even though we all approached individually or in pairs we are ALL (9 of us. foreign.) rejected anyway. The expedited rejection for me though is met with mild satisfaction. I was able to cross off the tourist activity of being rejected from the Berghain without any wait time involved!

(Any opportunity)

(Who wouldn't let these guys in?)

Berlin day 6: 
I realised I missed the holocaust memorial which is literally right next to the Brandenburg gate (curse you nap! Curse you inviting grass!) so instead of walking I decided to catch a local bus to the site. On the way I listened to music on my ipod for the first time in Berlin and it was marvellous. I found fascination in the site and due to lack of company to take photos of me I decide to take a grim selfie instead. The walk home utilised a different route and the breadth of Berlin was noted. Spacious. In the evening I hang out with my hostel friends that I have slowly developed since the Irish girls thankfully disappeared.

(The selfie is on Facebook - this isn'ttttt)

(Let's be friends)

Berlin day 7: 
Catch a bus down to Leipzig for 5 euro (!!!) to meet my friend Lauren who is working/studying there. There's still a lot to see in Berlin but I think this was a pretty good start! Not too shabs. I'm sure I've forgotten shit. Maybe I'll add it in later as I remember.

Germany - Cologne / Hamburg / Schwerin

Germany and France are the last two major European countries I've been meaning to visit. By the time I leave Europe I want to say I have a general grasp of what's out there. Then, when I return, I'll re-visit places I liked, see places I missed, explore more of what I liked and so on. The UK have their summer around August so at the first opportunity I jumped onto a plane to Cologne simply because it was cheap! Seemed a good enough place to start too, right?

When you walk out of Cologne station you are immediately forced to behold the Dom - a beautiful cathedral - in all of it's splendour.

(BEHOLD)

Then after finding your hostel you are again immediately forced to wonder what else there is to do in this city? I just don't really care much for museums I must say people. Sure some are good - mostly the sciencey ones - but it needs to actually be good. I'm not going to go to the Roman museum in Cologne simply because it exists ja feel?

So here's where it gets interesting. You see some of you may be wondering how I meet so many people on my journeys and why a lot of them always seem to be men.

Well.

Yes, some of them are randos from the hostel. However, a lot of them are guys I've met from various gay dating apps on the iphone. I'm sure you've all heard about them - I won't go into too much detail - but yes I have and still do use them albeit not usually for their intended purpose (sex). Stuck in a city and don't know which restaurant is good? Ask the gays! Not sure if this cathedral is worth the 5 euros to enter? Ask the gays! Need someone to have a beer with at a bar? Ask a gay! So useful is this resource that I have had some absolutely incredible adventures with some amazing people.

(House party in The Netherlands)

(Horses in Sweden)

(Flamenco dancing in Spain)

After exhausting the Dom and the streets of Cologne I decided to contact a gay to meet up for a drink and had a great night! I've been told by many a German that Cologne's sights are not really worth shaking a stick at (my words) but that the nightlife was definitely worth its weight in gold (again, my words). I didn't really get to see that much of the nightlife but I did have an amazing burrito and few drinks with a young law lecturer. Young for a law lecturer. I think he was 28?

On the first day I was awake at 2:30am in London to get the bus to get the train to get the plane to Cologne and after arriving was told I couldn't check in until many hours later. All I wanted to do was lie down somewhere and have a nap or read a book blah blah. I could find nothing! Later it turns out that all the parks sit in a circle SURROUNDING the city. So I spent a while just strolling through the long string of parks including a fun sculpture park.

Travelling alone means it is often hard to take photos of myself and have to resort to stupid shots so that I have something interesting to show people - Cologne was no exception!

(Aww yisssss)

However Cologne did provide me with a German sim card and a book to read. I say 'provide' here to mean I did it myself but Cologne ... allowed me? There was a cool American guy in the hostel who I had a fair few beers with but that was really about it. Just this morning in fact I was having a bit of an existential crisis about the nature of forming relationships with people. That is to say - if I know it won't go anywhere should I bother? Or if I bothered would it go somewhere? And if I did bother and it went nowhere then I'm just sort of left by myself again but with a sense of loneliness. Heavy stuff you guys. Still haven't found an answer. I gloss over the deeper issues of course. This was legit stuff peeps.

After Cologne I hauled ass up to Hamburg - German's second largest city. As some of you may know, my approach to travel (and indeed life) is haphazard and unorganised. Such was the case as I walked out of Hamburg central station with no place to stay. I knew all the hostels were inexplicably full and my attempt to find an AirBnB place failed (Exact quote from one - "Hey Kris, a friend of mine is staying at my place for the weekend, so the room is taken Saturday night - i forgot to block that date in the calender on this site ... (Sorry!)" and just no response from the other). In any case, I simply walked into the enormous hostel by the station and luckily slid into a cancelled room in a 4-bed dorm. At this point I want to say that Germany is stiflingly hot at the moment and the thought of sitting in the stuffy hostel room for longer than necessary was unappealing so instead I decided to meet up with Max for a walk.

This lead to a bizarre music festival in the middle of nowhere with his cool friends listening to what I would have described as 'german electro' until the DJ's accent suggested somewhere else. From here we explored the bar scene of Hamburg and I had my first Hamburger in Hamburg. I'm sure a lot of you have seen this picture already. It's FUNNY, OK?!

Truth be told the hamburger itself was terrible. It was sourced from a dingy burger place and was more expensive than a mcdonalds cheeseburger and one of them had mayonnaise for some reason. Time and a place mayonnaise - time and a place. Not on my burger at 4am plz.

The rest of my time in Hamburg was spent riding bikes, strolling by the Alster river, lying in parks, eating and napping at pretty much any opportunity. I've found that having this beard means my neck gets super sweaty after I sleep. It's kind of gross especially since the humid heat is already making me develop a fine layer of sweat daily anyway. I must persevere though - chicks love this piece of man-face-hair. I did do some touristy things though, took pictures, climbed up a tower and all that. Managed to do most of the touristy things within a few hours actually. Swish.

(Hamburg on high)

 (Awesome empty church)

 (Stage at music festival)

 (Alster lake (maybe) through the lens of my sunglasses)

Finally on the last day I met up with a pal, Henrik. He thought it would be a good idea to go to the gym (????) so along we went and it was a nice venture actually! He had some interesting stories to pepper in along the way about his home and some favourite places that he likes to visit (including a beautiful decking area right on the water for some goat cheese) and we finally spent some time overlooking the river watching the boats drift by and the sun slowly descend. Henrik is really into his supplements so prior to the workout we had a protein shake, had some amino acids after the workout then another protein shake. Turns out the workout didn't hurt as much the next day as I thought - I suppose there's some credit to the theory!

That night I caught a bus to the nearby city Schwerin at the advice of a friend Laura. Many of the Hamburgers couldn't really understand why I wanted to go but truthfully it was on the way to Berlin, I didn't have accommodation anywhere else and I liked the idea of exploring a smaller city - after a while all the big cities start looking the same. I arrived around 9pm when it was still light and had an easy stroll around a big lake to get to the hostel. It was one of those hostels where the owners are never around and you have to call them to get keys etc. I wasn't too fussed as they picked up and the key was easy to get. I was in a 9 bed room dorm which isn't normally a problem but tell you WHAT it was just comically irritating how noisy and unaware of others these guests were. I hope I snored to teach everyone a lesson. ha.

(Fucking POSTCARD WORTHY)

Fortunately, Schwerin isn't exactly an intense town to be in so not having much sleep was ok. I had a nice stroll in the morning around town until eventually I had a sit down with some pastries, tea and a book. Later I went to the castle to have a look around. It's pretty much the main draw of the town and even though I didn't find the inside really very interesting I really enjoyed wandering around the grounds afterwards. As the weather was pretty shitty it wasn't exactly the best situation to take photos (did anyway obvs) but I did manage to catch a quick nap on some grass under a tree.

(Thumbs up to naps)

As I finish writing this (Although not when I'm posting as there's no internet) I'm on the train to Berlin. I used a website called blablacar.com which I thought was to organise car pools with people between cities. Turns out that someone was just using the website to grab some people so we could all catch the train on a group ticket. I'm not exactly complaining! It's a 2 hour and 20 minute journey so eventually I got out my craptop to finish this and they did their own thing. I'd still happily use the website again though! I'm in Berlin for five nights but looking to get a trip to Leipzig then Dresden... We'll see what happens!