Quarter Life Crisis - survival guide

I am a modern man. As a bearded homosexual that lacks passions and has the emotions of a 45 year old woman - I feel that I am more than capable of living in this modern world of ours. I'm working as a teacher, I have friends, good family, high spirits and all that shit. So why is it then that at the tender age of 25 I have become so reflective of my life?

To begin, let me give you some context. As a teacher it is largely my role to stand in front of a class and shout at students to shut the fuck up and sit down and do some god damn work. It can be pretty trying but undoubtedly my entire year of education has trained me in the art of dishing out detentions, telling kids off in many different and unique ways, and of course the sacred art of the death stare. How more people aren't joining this profession is beyond me. I feel like I may have liked it at some stage but a part of me may have manufactured that memory to get me through the days.

(or through the hour)

I've never had a relationship. I honestly don't know if it's something I'd be interested in or if I'm 100% awesome by myself and don't need anyone else. I sleep around, sure. I'm a functional adult male. However there have certainly been people in the past that I have wanted to continue something with... but it has just never worked out. Cry for me, Argentina.

Finally I should mention that I'm living in London and not my native Australia. This means there is a certain extent of isolation and unfamiliarity with my surroundings. That is to say, when feeling down I don't necessarily have the same ability to go to a comfort zone as I'm intrinsically out of it. I'm enjoying London though so I can't blame that. However, I'm sure it isn't helping the situation!

So I supply you, newly loyal readers, on the tips and tricks to helping you overcome your self-entitled, wanky, excuse to be miserable - quarter life crisis. You may relate to some and not so much to others but I'm sure you'll glean something from this at the very least.


Do: Decide you need a new career... and of course tell everyone including your co-workers this.

Do not: Have any idea what you want to do or how you'll go about achieving this change.

Teaching is pretty much the best job ever because of reasons. I love marking over a hundred tests every few weeks. I super love having to break up fights in the classroom and of course I super mega love that empty feeling at the end of the day when one feels completely defeated. That was, granted, a lot of sarcasm in one dose but you get the idea. So what now? Perhaps you should try to network your way into a job instead of going back to uni and studying like a savage. Network with your vast amount of ... or at least your small pocket of friends. Success is just around the corner.

(patronising new mug purchased? check)

Do: Go out drinking on strange nights and stay up way too late.

Do not: Remain well rested and energised for your bright future.

Getting into work at 7:00am with a raging hangover is just the ticket for those riding out a quarter life crisis. Of course you will have selected the worst possible day to do this and you'll accept the consequences with as much responsibility as you can muster given the situation. The students you encounter will all become magnified and as your hangover starts to fade, time will slow down. One day will be split into pre- and post-hangover and your whole sense of time will be wiped out the window. Don't fight it, just hope others don't question you on the day's events.


Do: Tell everyone everything you're thinking and feeling.

Do not: Express yourself through productive mediums at healthy intervals.

Who cares if the person has just coincidentally sat down opposite you at Starbucks. Bleed your heart out to them. Just dump all of your emotions on any, and all parties within your proximity. You have become a martyr to your own cause now and people need to recognise! You are surely the only person to be going through these feelings. Feel free to elaborate on that guy who has you down and your entire history together up until this point. Don't forget to mention how you hate your job and how expensive London is. Finally point out how exhausted you have made yourself but how it's not you it's your quarter life crisis. People love hearing about it.

(this un-funny comic brought to you by the INTERNET)

Do: Wear yourself out to complete exhaustion

Do not: maintain a healthy lifestyle whatsoever.

This requires you to stay up late, wake up early, not eat much, exercise, and then plan shitty classes in any gaps between. Frankly if you have any energy at all then you're not quarter life crisis-ing hard enough. You should have moments when you stare unblinkingly out the window for inappropriately long amounts of time and you should have difficulty forming coherent thoughts - such as what you did the day before. When you go to the gym don't expect a whole lot to happen as you lie on the stretching area's mat and stare at the ceiling mouthing words to your favourite songs on your headphones.


Do: Go out drinking with that guy you liked even after he says he doesn't want a relationship.

Do not: Keep your distance.

Because you're totally over him right? Because you think it'll be fun to just be friends right? Now watch as you start becoming insecure about every facet of your life and then get secretly miffed when he's talking to someone else outside. This is also an opportunity to reflect about your financial situation and how you have very little to your name. Ace. While out drinking you should probably also participate in karaoke or something else humiliating in front of a crowd just to really get into the swing of your mid 20s.

(Like this fucking PLAYER!)

By the end of this you will be so out of sorts that all you can do is write an internet blog about it laughing at yourself. Ha.


I should note that I am ok. In actuality your outpourings of support have been absolutely the nicest things. I'm a rational enough guy to see what I need to do to get myself tip-top so I'll just plough my way there. Expect to hear about it!

Get Kris a Kareer.

I decided the other day that teaching isn't for me. I was sitting in front of a computer staring at the screen and dreading the day ahead and I decided right then and there that it's not a path I'm going to pursue. Spending 80% of my time telling students to sit down, be quite, stop hitting each other, and to stop stealing each others' pens is just exhausting. It's not why I wanted to be a teacher. So I'm going to explore other options before I put my fist through the shell of bone that is/are my student's skull.

Only problem IS, my faithful children of the internet, is that I'm not actually qualified to do much else. Oh sure, I can wait tables like a god damn CHAMPION and, yeah, I've got retail skills - but nothing meaty. Nothing substantial that I can wave in front of an employers face and be all like "yeah guy, I'm the man for the job".

(I'll even awkwardly smile at your racist jokes)

This leaves me in a bit of a quandary. How am I supposed to move sideways or up in my career progression? Fortunately I'm of an adequate age to be starting again in this sense but I'm in a different country dontcha know. I don't have time nor the economic capacity to be going back to uni to learn this sort of thing! Besides, I'm surrounded by examples of people who have succeeded without university so I know it can be done. Just gotta get down and do it.

My strategies for now are to write in this blog more frequently in case I end up going for a job in social media (this includes ramping up my twitter account: https://twitter.com/KrisComma ) and also to start networking. It's who you know, not what you know - right? I'm going to try and use the gay network to the best of my ability. I'm not saying that I will prostitute myself by any means but if it comes to a situation where I'm trading sex for steady employment then .... it's a grey area I'm willing to look into. Don't you judge me!

 

(Case in point, I do not know Barack Obama personally - hence why he has not employed me)

I can write to generation Y! I can convey tone! Sure my punctuation is all awry and, yes, my turn of phrase can be quite roundabout... but some people (myself) think it's endearing (because it IS) so I'm not going to stop. Let's hope operation "Get Kris a Kareer" goes well. I'll keep you posted.

Kris.

Sweden - Stockholm

I think the reason I spent so long in Dalarna was because I had arranged a place to stay in Stockholm quite far in advance and was simply hanging out until it was acceptable to go there. Stockholm is known for just having no room for anyone so I was glad to get a response. Which is why for about 6 days I stayed with my new friend from Couch Surfing, Andreas, in his apartment a little bit south of the city.

I read a book that was translated from Swedish about a woman in a small suburban town down south who gets kidnapped then raped/tortured in the basement opposite the house she lived in while watching her family through a tv screen. Anyway all the characters seem to dislike people from Stockholm and in my experiences from Gothenburg and Dalarna it seems people THERE don't particularly like Stockholmians either. I have no qualms though. They're a fashionable and fun bunch. No one seems to say sorry though. Not out of selfish disregard for others but it seems they don't want to have to burden the other person with having to answer with something like "that's ok blah blah".

Must say though, where Stockholm city starts and ends is a little confusing as it's spread out over several islands. Seriously look at the aerial view of the city. Looks awesome doesn't it! Definitely impressive that a city was constructed here at all ... seems like a lot of work. After spending around a week there I like to think I managed to get my head around it. The names and pronunciations were a bit beyond me at times but geographically speaking I was starting to get it.

(Right? Cool!)

(Like for example this is ... umm)

Andreas and I actually had a quite a lot in common, not least of which was our preference in TV shows so after having a few drinks and dinner on the first night we settled in to watch some Netflix. On Wednesday I explored the area/islands of Sodermalm and Gamla Stan. Sodermalm is the cool 'hip' area and Gamla Stan is  the more old-time 'tourist' area. I went to some really cool cafes and I saw some interesting buildings. After a day of aimless walking I met up with Andreas and some of his friends and we went bar hopping until we ended up in some friend of a friend's apartment and ultimately at Tradgarden which apparently is the Swedish summer hotspot for young adults. It's the sort of place that will never play anything you actually know because it's too cool for that. Did hear that one Solange Knowles song though. You know the one.

(I'm cool you guysss)

(pictured: stuff)

Next day I went to the ABBA museum because I simply HAD to! I was never really a massive fan of ABBA because they're not really part of my generation but like everyone else I certainly know their big hits. Which I later downloaded after the museum. You can get an audio guide that has the members of ABBA explaining things to you. The stuff they were saying was pretty much explained on the plaques around the museum but it was nice to hear their voices. I actually kind of enjoyed it all! It covered their rise to fame from Eurovision, explained why they were so popular in Australia (seemingly more than the rest of the world??) and their eventual break up. I thought that they hated each other but no! They catch up every now and then it seems. They're never going to get back together though. Agnetha (blonde one) has released a new album and of course there's the Mamma Mia musical and movie. You know, the one with James Bond. Go and listen to Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! again - it's kind of really funky!

(Agnetha looking fierce)

Friday I went to, and subsequently didn't enter, the museum of modern art. Wasn't in the mood for art. I went to a castle on a rock instead and while gazing out across the water I saw the amusement park and HAD to go. Worth noting: I found a camera memory chip thing sitting on a rock. You'd be amazed how many people I mentioned it too automatically assumed child porn. No I've just checked and they're someone's holiday snaps. I'd really like to return it to them so I'll do some research. Hmmm. Anyway the amusement park was a lot of fun! There's one particular ride that is like a carousel swing but very high up which offered the BEST view of Stockholm I could have asked for.

(That tall one right there)

Friday night was drinking with some more of Andreas' friends and then watching as Andreas ate the spiciest sausage in Stockholm and apparently the world. Like a champ he finished it and then later on the walk home from the station he threw up a bit also like a champ. Then drank yogurt like a champ. Then dealt with the digestive aftermath of the devastatingly spicy sausage like a champ. Saturday we just both recovered until we decided to do something traditionally Swedish in the same way that a traditional Australian activitiy could be going on a Walkabout and hunting with boomerangs. We ate surstromming.

(Stage 1: initial regret)

Surstromming literally means 'sour herring' and is essentially herring that has long since rotted itself into being. It's powerfully offensive to all senses and is not to be taken lightly. After two simple bites I gagged and had to spit it out. I had to gargle with Dr. Pepper to wipe the taste out - my dentist is probably shaking his head. However my dentist doesn't read this blog so next time I see him I'll lie. The amount of flies this dish attracted was astonishing, and a true sign of the fact that this 'food' should not be approaching any human orifice. Ever.

(Even light would prefer to bounce off it)

(terrible)

Finally on Sunday we decided to do something with our lives and we went for a bike ride around the various islands. Bought some cool stuff, had another amazing burger, had a beer, then went to the vasa museum. A museum solely dedicated to the biggest Swedish war ship made (in 1628) that subsequently sank about 500m after setting off. I actually liked that the museum was quite specific; all the facts became unusually relevant. If it had been a general boat museum I would not have been nearly as interested. Afterwards we had some more beers and tried some non-disgusting herring which was absolutely amazing. Possibly the best thing I ate in Sweden. God I'm hungry right now.

(artist's interpretation)

(Andreas and my herring. MINE)

I met some cool people in Sweden. It's a really interesting country so I'm glad I was able to spend about two weeks exploring it. Now however I'm flying back into London and I have no apartment and no work until September. Massive drainer. I'm hoping to visit Sweden again soon to see some of the friends I've made but it would be a lot better if they just came to visit me in London :D. Yeah!

(A statue clearly touching his own nipple. Now immortalised in stone)

Sweden - Dalarna province

Dalarna is a somewhat northern province of Sweden and is the perfect example of Swedish countryside. It's the sort of place you'd see on postcards - red houses, trees, lakes, horses ... it's just a nice area. It's all considered quite ... yeah Swedish. Also in Dalarna, being mostly countryside, you'll find mostly white people. Blonde hair and blue eyes e'rrwhere. Children of the corn. ha. It's nice though! They're like VIKINGS! Minus all the raping and pillaging of course. Swedish people really are quite beautiful, however, I mostly want to put that down to perhaps sexual selection. Blondes choose other blondes to have blonde children. I do want to say it's not like a country of models - they're very much within the realms of the average - but there's some creedence to the stereotype, yeah?

                           

                             (It's how they chose the colours of the flag.... No it's not)

I travelled to the Dalarna area initially to visit my friend Carolina who I met in Miami. That was back in 2007? That's dedication! A friendship with Kris is a friendship that LASTS!

Carolina was staying in her home town of Leksand. I had never heard of it but miraculously there was a direct (and cheap) train from Gothenburg so I jumped on and persevered through the 6 hour journey to meet her. Leksand is a beautiful town by the lake and as luck would have it (luck is the word I'm using) I arrived during the Classic Car Week. Which in layman's terms is when Swedish enthusiasts of American cars converge on the town to cruise about and make each other feel worthwhile for maintaining mobile chunks of metal. There are more than you think friends. It's a 'thing' apparently.

('Thing' certainly seems like the right word)

I met Carolina's boyfriend, Thomas, and we all spent the day catching up and drinking on Thomas' houseboat which - for the record - is the coolest houseboat I've ever been on. Carolina was staying in a big house right by a lake and the view was just incredible. I really mean it. Incredible. By the time we got to the car show I was in a really good mood. There were a lot of cars and a lot of Swedish being thrown about but I didn't really mind. Carolina and Thomas' friends were all lovely and were more than happy to speak in English. That ol' guilt about being raised to speak English came back for a bit but it seems so natural for everyone that I quickly forgot about it.

(Here they are)

(Go nature! YES!)

The next day we just had a coffee, grabbed some lunch and lay on the roof of the houseboat in the sunshine. However, I had just caught Carolina before she was moving down south with Thomas so my stay in Leksand was quite short lived. A brief sojourn if you will. Later in the afternoon I was on the train over to the slightly larger town (in relative terms) of Falun. I had arranged via Couch Surfing to stay with the Lingemyr family who picked me up at the station and took me to their lovely house not far from town.

(Boat-tastic)

Falun is famous for its' massive copper mine. It used to be the second largest city in Sweden and kept it (the country) going back in the day when it was all about conquering. It's also the reason for the all the red houses in Sweden as the remnants of the minerals were used to create the paint. That's why almost every house in Falun/Dalarna is this burnt red colour! Including the Lingemyr families' house it seems.

(Da mine)

Mona and Torbjorn were so lovely and accommodating. They've accepted exchange students and sent their two boys off overseas many times so they've got their head in that international frame of mind. We had a lengthy discussion over dinner about Sweden and as a consequence I now know a lot more about Sweden than could ever possibly be necessary but that can't be bad can it? It's a pretty cool country after all.

The next day was spent with my friend Daniel and he showed me around to the local sights of interest with his two dogs - Gertrude and Sarah. I actually didn't visit the mine as there were no English tours while I was around but I mean ... I saw the hole dug into the earth ... that's something, right? Instead I got to see some really nice places and have a great lunch in the sunshine. I was able to meet Daniel's horses and finally I went back to the Lingemyr's place and we jumped in a nearby lake at dusk to cool off.

(Dan and Gertrude walking around a botanical garden)

(Best friends)

After Falun I didn't really know where to go so I just went on Couch Surfing to see who was around and ended up heading to the small town of Alvkarleby to meet Joao and his girlfriend. It was a really small town that didn't really have a whole lot to do but that's ok. Turns out Joao is really into his indoor beach volleyball so he invited me to play that with him and some locals. I'm pretty sure the last time I played volleyball was in highschool and let's just say I wasn't exactly Olympics material so I was a bit uhh ... 'rusty' for a while. I am pleased to say though that I got a lot better until I was an actual contributing member of the team.

(Obviously not contributing while taking this photo)

The locals were all lovely! I really had a good time meeting them and it was nice staying with Joao. I think he's used to having people stay because he seemed incredibly at ease with it. I decided to make nachos because why not make nachos? I was able to explore the town on the bike but there wasn't really a whole lot to see. It's always nice to ride around though. It's certainly faster than walking. That it is. Stayed two nights then trained off to Stockholm. Next blog.

Sweden - Göteborg

"Why Sweden, Kris?" - WELL... I mean. How do I answer that? Why does anyone travel anywhere? I've been interested in Sweden for a long time and now that I've got the time and sheer proximity it seemed like a good time.

(The birthplace of my name. Not really. *ahem* The shop only sells woman's clothing.)

It's summer holidays in London right now so I have no work with which to worry myself so I booked a cheap(ish) flight and everything seemed good. Then the next day my house mates said they were moving back to their countries meaning I had to find a new place, then I found out that I miss out on a fun festival in Brighton, I miss out on a friend coming to visit London, my Swedish friends are busy or out of the country, and to top it off I kiiiind of met someone a few days before the flight.

Poorly timed to say the least.

Still I got on that RyanAir flight and flew the two hours to Gothenburg city which - for those in the dark - is the second largest city in Sweden. 10 points for naming the capital - I'll get to that later. I didn't buy a return ticket as I wasn't actually sure how long I want to spend in Sweden. Immigration didn't bat an eyelid at that though. Good on them.

(Swede-tastic)

In true Kris fashion I arrived without any knowledge of the city or the language. Fortunately for me the latter was not so much of an issue because Swedish people are mind-bogglingly good at English. Better than people in England. ha. I only say that because of the dreadful English accent that wafts around at some of the schools I've been working at. Confusingly enough though a common greeting in Swedish is 'hey' (hej) exactly as we say it so instead I have to say 'hello' juuuust so they know that I'm an English-speaking moron.

(I'll have the meatballs .... of course I will)

Gothenburg as a city has a lot of parks and nice restaurants but I didn't really feel like there was a whole lot to do, you know? There's an amusement park and a science museum but a lot of the fun just comes from sitting around and not doing a whole lot. Which is what I did! Everyone there was quite nice though and it was quite easy to meet new people - always a pleasure!

 (Game of Thrones - Gothenburg)

  I was staying with a friend, Gustav, from CouchSurfing. He's an ex-chemical engineer who is currently studying to be a doctor. Brains coming out the wazoo that one. Very nice guy though and was very kind to let me stay. We went out the first night and met some nice Swedish ladies and went around drinking. Ordinarily a fun thing to do but due to the damned amazing Swedish economy everything is expensive. Gustav had some Swedish beer he had bought cheaply from a trip to Germany (because Europeans can DO THAT) so we made do

.(Gustav and his boat; somewhat different cider flavours! Heavens!)

So what did I do exactly? I went up to an old Fortress but didn't go in as the people working there were on a lunch break. Wouldn't have gone in anyway. I went to Haga which is like a gentrified industrial area full of cafes and restaurants, I went to a rich-ish area to a bar that only appears in summer by the canals, I hung around Gustav's place and I also went for a ferry trip around the Gothenburg archipelago which was really nice...

(Look at dem ROCKS)

... Actually on that last one, Sweden has a really nice coastline with lots of small islands scattered throughout. The ferry system runs on their regular public transport system (yet another system better than Myki) so it was cheap and fairly frequent, too. I went to the island Branno where I had a strange sandwich from a strange couple in a strange cafe. I walked around the outskirts to a nice lookout point where, in the absense of anyone else around me, I took some selfies. Finally I strolled down back to the ferry to go back.

(What a beautiful ... view)

Turns out I completely the missed the centre of the island where their one restaurant is. How do I know this? I met Leopold who, despite living quite close to Gustav on the mainland, works on the island. He showed me some really cool bars around town and it was nice to see some cool places I might not have ordinarily seen. There's other stuff to mention about Swedish culture but I'll probably be spacing out Sweden over three blogs. I'll reserve some stuff for later - like how Sweden is actually full of beautiful people and ... food or whatever. I'll think of something.

Hostel Life.

It's been a while. Mostly because I've been in London for like a month sorting out stuff which is (oddly enough) not really very interesting. For a while I may be blogging about my teaching experiences. Substitute teaching is going to suuuuuck. Ha.

So I've been in this room of mine for about 2 weeks now and I thought it was time to give my completely unbiased and rational observation on the differences between staying in hostels vs. staying in a room. Let me begin by describing my current room.

- Small. Really, really small. Almost to the point of hilarity (almost). However as a space it is what it is and it's not like I need to perform complex and varied dance choreography in here - so I'm not too phased.

- In a nice/safe area - Wapping. This generally means 'dull' and I guess you'd be right. Lots of families and otherwise young professionals. However, there are some really cool canals and docks close by. It really can be quite pretty.

- Close to a supermarket, gym and happening areas of London.

Ok so that's out of the way. Let me just say that as a base of operations it's perfect. Also there's no lease so if I find a better place I can totally bail. People are welcome to stay on the couches in the living room. Awesome.

(Because you're probably not going to fit in here)

I'm going to break this ANALYSIS down into categories for your reading pleasure. I'm going to bold headings and everything. All the pictures are the ones I haven't put up because they're not really all that useful for you guys to see ... UNTIL NOW!

Privacy
Hostel - Nearly non-existent. Having even one other person in the room all of sudden means you can't talk aloud to yourself, sing, play music or write about that amazing invention you thought of because what if they steal it? Speaking of theft - it can totally happen.

Room - It's MY ROOM. I still can't really bellow out that latest tune from that popular artist everyone is talking about but at least I can hum it convincingly.

*Humorous anecdote(s)*
I mean how can anyone be private in a 12/15/18 bed dorm? There was a time in Manchester when two drunk English guys stormed in at about 4am, one drunkenly/accidentally (?) tried to get into a girls bed, when she pushed him onto the floor he just lay there snoring loudly until another room-resident dragged him into the hallway. Then there are the three tier bunk systems that just seem more like cages than beds. I snore you know. I'm that guy.

(Certainly no privacy if you're attractive and I have a camera. I'm mostly kidding)

Fun
Hostel - Super fun. Everyone is like "let's get drunk" and then lots of fun things happen! Most hostels have been welcoming and friendly in almost every circumstance.

Room - Don't get me wrong - I enjoy my own company. However my house mates *cough* are boring *clears throat* so I don't particularly have a thriving social life in the house. I've got friends quite close though so if I need social interaction it's not far away. I guess I was just spoiled with the house I lived in before travelling.

*Humorous Anecdote*
In Madrid I walked into the hostel and within 10 minutes was talking to two guys from London who were like "We're going to meet some friends and have some tapas and beer - would you like to join us?". Cut to awesome night in Madrid. Next day I meet some Australians and we explore Toledo while drinking red wine. You know what I saw in Madrid? Very little. I saw like a garden and the outside of a palace. I also saw a lot of food and beer ... going into my mouth.

(People from a Barcelona hostel and a fountain!)

(From a Lisboan hostel in Portugal. I'm a robot)

Security
Hostel - I'm reaaally bad with leaving everything out and not locking away anything and I've never been a victim of theft. Although I did lose my headphones. Maybe they were stolen? I have a padlock/key (found on the ground next to a rental car in Napoli) but I never use it because I just can't be bothered, you know? Still the fact is that things COULD be stolen. I'm sure my mother is shaking her head right now - I haven't changed a bit have I motherrrrr.

Room - Key to get into the house but no lock on my door. The key is attached to a big silver 'F' and I absolutely do not see why. This system means my house mates could totally walk into my room and steal all of my valuables including ...... absolutely nothing. This laptop I suppose. Although I'd notice that it was missing eventually and start asking questions.

*Humorous Anecdote*
As I said I just spread my stuff out errrwhere. In Florence I was staying at this hostel that was run by two weird guys that didn't seem to have much going for them in terms of organisation. They'd determine if there was any more room in the hostel by looking in the rooms or something weird like that. Anyway I had somehow managed to spread myself out over two beds in the one bunk and that's the way it stayed for days. This behaviour of spreading my stuff out (unintentionally of course) has occurred at almost every single hostel. Even places that have adequate room for my backpack have fallen prey to my laziness.

(Baggage hold imprints 4EVA)

Cost
Hostel - depends on the area. Italy for some reason just doesn't seem to go for the whole hostel thing and prefer instead to offer 'private' rooms which means you need to be travelling in a group of 3/4 and book the entire room. Portugal are all like "Yes! Stay in this amazing place for a pittance!". Price varies with London being the most expensive to date. In Brighton this weekend I was paying 27 poundssssss a niiiiiiiiight.

Room - 500 pounds a month all inclusive. I've talked to a few people who are doing this 'long stay' thing at hostels here and they pay about 400 pounds a month. Really that just means I'm paying another 25 pounds a week but at least I have my own room, a big kitchen, washing machine, steady internet etc. Worth itttttt.

*Humorous Anecdote*

That time I paid for another night in Rome only to find I stayed out all night and never actually got to the bed before the checkout time. Booking rooms on hostel world is an eternal battle of price, quality and availability. You win some (Bologna) and you lose some (Valencia).

(This is that time I forgot I had booked Wednesday night as well but had already booked different accommodationnnn)

(This particular hostel had free churros in the morning. Breakfast of champions)

Location
Hostel - Hostels are usually pretty well located and easy to get to so I can't really fault them for that. There was that place in the Cinque Terre where the nice owner came to the train station and walked us to the place that was on the main street (the ONLY street). Alternatively there was the place in Lisbon that required one to walk up approximately a bajillion stairs. Calves of STEEL.

Room - Not far from a tube stop on the circle/district line which gets me across the city quite easily. The circle line connects to most lines so I don't usually have to do more than one transfer which is nice. The walk from the tube stop to my house goes past several restaurants and some nice docks where you can see boats. Having said all that, if I stayed at a hostel in this area I'd think it was quite out of the way. Hmmm.

*Humorous Anecdote*
Oh man if I had to go through all the misadventures I've been on trying to find various hostels. Barcelona was baffling what with being sent to a different hostel (it was a chain) then being confused by a bloody one direction pop up store and all the stupid fans obscuring the entrance. Or trying to use the IMPOSSIBLE Napoli train system to get to the hostel there. Or the Rome hostel who informed us we were in a room that was in a building a 10 minute walk from the reception desk.

(These suckers trying to open a door)

Amenities
Hostel - one bathroom for 15 people? Awesome! No kitchen or fridge? Cool! Internet that never works? Yes please!

Room - Everything I need! The shower is pretty weak though. Water saving has never been so ... crushing.

(Now you know. Shhhh)

(Luuuuuunch)

In conclusion, I'm happy with my room but jeez I've had some great hostel experiences. I would say a definite 8/10 on the whole. If you want to know any of the hostels I stayed at for some reason then let me know. I probably can't remember all of the names but they'll be sitting in my gmail somewhere.

Thank you.

Italy - Lake Como

Throughout Italy I was essentially visiting the larger cities and spending a majority of my time living in the city and not really getting much of a feel for the country life. After a while all the cities start feeling the same and it gets quite dull! Ja feel?

So I used the website helpx.net to find a home-stay situation. The deal is pretty much that in return for me helping them out they give me a room and food. The guy who contacted me, Mark, needed help repairing his boat and immediately I had these idealistic notions of satisfying hard-work, honest living, lack of technology, sailing in clear waters blah blah. So I went to Mark's place which is situated in the small area of Grandola ed Uniti and is about 40 minutes walk from Lake Como.

Lake Como is one of the biggest lakes in Italy and it is quite beautiful. George Clooney and Madonna have villas by the water and tourists often flock there in summer. One scene in one of the Star Wars movies was filmed in one of the villas. Don't ask me which. I arrived by Lake Como then took a bus and was picked up by Mark himself to take me to the village. I skipped Milano because people had generally been describing it as a toilet. 

(GEORGE I LOVE YOU)

It was quite rural let me say from the get go. It's only really accessible by bus and bus tickets need to be purchased in advance from specific locations like cafes or bars close to the bus stops. The only problem is that Italians out this far really do take the idea of the lunch-break quite seriously. In Italian it's called a 'riposo' and it pretty much means everything shuts down from about 12pm-3pm. You want lunch? No. You want a bus ticket? No. You want to do literally anything in this town? No.

There's a grocery store there that doesn't bother opening on Sunday and is shut for 3 full hours in the day when people would probably need groceries. Hey Italy you're in a recession. Perhaps you should do more? Do Germans have this kind of lunch break? How's their economy?

Perhaps I'm over simplifying it.

(Or perhaps I'm DEAD ON)

Anyway Mark is a retired American man who spends 9 months of the year living in this nice place in Grandola ed Uniti (the other 3 are in the USA). His passion is boats and upon my arrival he was working on one boat and was preparing to bring another one to the shed. For the first 2 days or so we worked away on various parts of the boat - my responsibilities included.

- Polishing the brass on the boat

- Cleaning the shed 

- Organising the shed

- Cleaning these buoy things

- Provide witty repartee.

- Play music from my iPhone. This last one wasn't really my duty. More like an obligation... I felt... to myself... to listen ... because I wanted to.

(The boat sans sails. Didn't get around to that)

After two days however the weather turned quite dramatically sour. Mark thought it would be a good opportunity to go pick up the other boat and then work on that because we weren't sailing in the poor weather. That's when his fuel tank started leaking which resulted in him putting his car into the garage.

So this pretty much left us with absolutely nothing to do. I mean one day I polished the leather of his couches for crying out loud. Do people do that?? Here I was getting free meals and my own room and in return there just wasn't much else I could do. So we decided to cut our time together short and I flew straight to London. I wish I could say there was some kind of dramatic fight and violence but no it was just out of bad luck.

(Cloud-tastic. Lake Comoooo too mooiiiisssttt)

So here I am in London trying to get my life sorted out! The Australian police check has been processed and I'm waiting for that to arrive. I move into my room on Thursday and from there I'll be able to have mail delivered so I can get a proof of address and URGH it's hard sorting everything out.

London Life

I've been trying to keep a journal throughout my travels. I wanted it to become a kind of memory bank so in years to come I could be like "Oh YEAH! I remember that salad bar" however it has pretty much petered out. I keep playing catch up, you see. I'll sit there at the end of the week and write down all the things I did.  Kind of like backfilling a diary. Exactly like back filling a diary.

The thing is, I can type infinitely faster than I can write. You should SEE my type. Dazzling. Typing also provides me with editing abilities and it is literally easier for me to open up a notepad document than it is for me to rifle through my bag and find that little green journal, source a pen and then eXpReSsSs myself. "So then just type, Kris" you say in a bored voice - well no! I don't particularly want my computer to have a record of my life either. Feels ... wrong.

"You've got a blog" you sigh. True I have this blog and I do say a lot of what I do. However it's hardly very thorough. Man where does this leave me? A bunch of idle thoughts and stock photography I guess. This blog is only going to have stock photography.

(I'm not taking the watermarks off either)

I've been in London for about a week now while I've been trying to sort out my life. I lost my headphones yesterday. Or maybe they were stolen?

Work:
- Applied for five teaching agencies - received four phone calls in the first hour. One company called me four minutes after I sent the application. London is gagging for teacherssss

- The companies I've signed up to are now constantly trying to call me and offer me long term positions which I don't WANT. I just want to work as a substitute for a bit. That's why we had an hour long interview teaching agenciesss - so you can work out what I wantttt. I made it pretty clear you guyssss.

- Still waiting on particular documents from Australia before working can commence. I'm currently stuck in this holding patterns before anything can happen. The companies still keep calling me though! Most days even! I've just stopped answering. Responsibility!

Living:
- I inspected a few places in London but my price range was about 500 pounds a month so I'm not exactly going to be living in a studio apartment over looking Big Ben, ya hear? I've found a place in Wapping which is by Tower Hill. You know the Tower Bridge? That's like a five minute walk away.

       - Pros: nice place, nice area, within price range, no contract, well connected, nice house mates.

       - Cons: room is tiny, nice area but a bit boring, house mates not really into the 'fun' lifestyle I try to subscribe to.

- I move in on May 23rd. They wondered how I was going to move my stuff and I was like "Guys ... all of my worldly possessions in Europe fit into a back pack. Calm down."

Phone:
- Am currently on a prepaid option but it's not the best. I should probably jump onto a plan at some stage but it can only be a 12 month contract because I don't like being restrained. Can't be tamed!

- My iPhone is still functioning. It glitches very frequently, often resets, is an apple product (roll eyes) but it's functioning. I've been playing Candy Crush Saga but I REFUSE to connect it to Facebook or pay any money at all.

(It's not even an iPhone)

Bank:
- Can get a bank account with my Australian passport but they need proof of address which I'm still waiting on. My house mates are all bankers. Not in any kind of selfish/useful sense for me though.


That's pretty much life right now. I'm in Brighton but the weather is terrible which puts a bit of a downer on things. I'm going to go EAT THE WORLD.