The Netherlands

Not Holland you guys. That's only a PART of The Netherlands. See? So educational already.

This trip was another case of "cheap flights during school holidays" and I was pretty thrilled with the result. My knowledge (and it seems everyone else's knowledge) of NL revolves around Amsterdam and the titillating goings on around there. Two independent people told me about the time they got 'so high' that they went to an all-you-can-eat ribs restaurant - whereupon after what only FELT like a few rounds they were denied any more ribs. TWO different people said this!

(Canal has the word 'anal' in it)

I'm afraid to say that I did NOT get 'so high' that I engaged in a buffet style activity. I did smoke one joint there though - sorry mum. The idea was to enjoy NL with actual Dutch people and as it turns out - Dutch people don't get ridiculously high every day! I planned to stay with my friend Martijn whom I met in Portugal when I first arrived in Europe. He lives in Utrecht which is a cool city about 30/40 minutes from Amsterdam by train. By itself though it's got canals, shops, a tall tower, and all that stuff. It seemed like a smaller Amsterdam with less tourists (and without a red light district). Despite this, our first activity it seemed was to head to a theme park down south.

(Utrecht canals have little sidewalk areas to drink alcohol on! I assume that's their purpose...)

(Take THAT no-photo symbol! Shoving it to the MAN)

Efteling is a theme park that isn't Disney and is essentially inside a big beautiful forest. There are no obvious mascots so the park instead relies on a general fantasy theme. It really is a well made park although it is definitely geared towards children; perhaps this is why Martijn and I had so much fun. We were going on all the cooool rides, the pretty rides, the strange rides then we'd eat something etc. etc. All in all it was a nice day. In the evening we drove down to Belgium/Antwerp and had some stoemp and later some FRIES! These fries would mark the first of many consumed during my week long trip. I ate a lot of fries you guys. An uncomfortably large amount.

(This is a 'small')

Like most holidays, I find I appreciate just hanging out the most. I like strolling around cities/towns, drinking, eating locally stuff and having a nice chat. There's a certain, embarrassing-to-admit joy in blending in with the locals - a feat rarely achieved with a massive fuckoff backpack. There was a food festival happening in Amsterdam at the time which was rad to visit. The kind of place where you can get unusual foods for high prices. The weather was quite up and down but I was lucky to have a few good days weather-wise to spend by the canals and at the park. I could do it day after day. In fact I kind of did.

The Red Light District was really interesting! (GOOD SENTENCE KRIS). Yes, there are prostitutes but they're literally right there on main streets/canals. They stand behind windows and beckon you in - some admittedly better looking than ... others. A particular example that comes to mind was a mannish looking woman with enormous boobs, leathery brown skin, bleached hair and the make up of ... well the make-up of a prostitute. I wish I could have taken a photo but they're notoriously sensitive to that. Can't blame them. Otherwise it was just a load of bucks/hens nights, the smell of weed, and sex shops. You name it, and they'll have it and a means to get it inside you.

(or in this!)

I took a trip up to The Hague with my friend Leo who lives/studies there, and checked out the beach. I wouldn't say The Netherlands are not known for their beaches (are they?) but it was a nice trip all the same. We also went to a house party in Delft which was, shall we say, unexpected? I'm not used to house parties having an organised line up of bands, fire twirlers, a male choir, a token economy and a teepee amongst other things but there you go! House parties of the future. It was nice to get out of Utrecht and Amsterdam to see other parts of the country - made the trip feel a lot more rounded I think. It's worth noting though that the beach has approximately zero shade and a crapload of sand. Guess who got massively sunburneddd?

(This guyyyy)

(From thissss)

Which has lead to an unfortunate farmer's tan. Brown face/arms - white everything else.

I realised my friend Sasha from High School was in the area (i.e. in the country) so we arranged to meet up in Utrecht. It had probably been about 9 years since I had seen her last but it was really relaxed. We have both since become teachers and travelled around - so we had quite a lot to talk about. Sasha is really passionate about education and I'm just a bit more apathetic about the whole thing - that's what London students do to you my friends. The day was spent strolling around, drinking beer, and then eventually having fries and wine by the canal. It was a really great day. I look forward to the next time.

(Kris: 26 going on 35 with a beard of the homeless variety. Sasha: Youthful pixie)

Now, Amsterdam obviously has a lot to do and I don't think I really did all there is to be honest. For example, I didn't go to the sex museum and I didn't even ride a bike! It got to the point where I had been walking around the city all day for a few days and I didn't really see what the bike would add to the experience. I did, however, insist on a canal cruise. I cringe mentioning it and it wasn't that great but it was a nice, peaceful hour and I'm still glad I took the opportunity. Plus I had some nice company! I dragged Dutch Leo on the trip as he had never done it before - what a great guy, hey?

(Leo looking unamused)

The whole time in the Netherlands I felt really welcome. I didn't get to wear clogs or get super high but I did manage to meet some really great people and experience some really good moments. I feel like I got quite a good picture of Dutch life and it seems, even from my glimpse, like a pretty nice way to live!  I'd like to return to The Netherlands one day but in the upcoming summer holidays I'm thinking France and Germany! 

(Facebook photos)