Basic Space

Part 2.

I've been attending a gym for the last month and half. I don't want you all expecting an amazingly bodied Kris upon my return (well, not any more than usual HAHAHAHAHA...) but as the weather gets colder and as I want to feel less guilty about stuffing my facial region with various food and/or food alternatives - then it makes sense.

There are two gyms in my area. One is just up the road and the other is about a 10 minute drive away. Seemingly against logic I went with the latter of the two for these reasons; price, size and people. Whatever. Not important. Decision made.

(Positive attitude y'all!)

Signing up to the gym is not such a difficult process if one has a basic grasp of Japanese. This is mainly due to the fact that if one can't speak Japanese well enough then one is not allowed to join. It's actually in the contract. Discriminatory but reasonable clauses aside, the process was quite smooth if not a little drawn out. The choices of plan include a day plan (from 11:30am - 2:30pm), a night plan (8:30pm - 10:30pm), a weekend plan or the MASTER PLAN (anytime). I went with the MASTER PLAN as ideally I'd like to be able to go straight after school but if I'm forced to hang around home until 8:30 I will probably crash/burn/die and not be bothered to go etc. It is a liiiiiittle bit pricey but so far I've been going quite frequently so I think it's pretty worth it.

Joining a gym in Japan doesn't lock you into a death grip of 6 year plans with painful canceling fee's that will probably render you homeless and poor. Which is nice. The whole feeling is nice! I don't feel intimated to walk inside by people twice my size nor do I feel self conscious. In fact as far as the people who go are concerned I'm quite happily in the middle range. The middle range involves no pressure, expectations or obligation. Exactly my style. Like this man!

(Go possibly Russian man! Exceed no expectations!)

So usually I enter the gym from the strange side parking and take off my outside shoes. Oh yes, don't think that gyms are excluded from the inside and outside shoe policy. I put my shit into the lockers and after weighing myself I start stretching. About 5 minutes later I begin running or some kind of cycling, then machines and then cool down. Sometimes I do a class (there's a psuedo-kick boxing class on Mondays) but generally it's the above schedule followed by the shower/bath in Japanese style... that is to say, naked.

One of my favourite machines is the treadmill. Instead of being totally boron and just sticking to calories and crap, it has a picture to show what I have burnt off so far. It starts with a candy and progresses upwards. The first few are perhaps encouragingly pessimistic and feature things such as a banana or some tuna sushi or something like that. I, personally, would prefer the machine to tell me how many beer related calories I have blasted off my petite frame but the machine wasn't made in Australia, now was it. Beer however does pop up in the pictures and is followed by things like hamburgers, baked cheesecake, short cake and ramen etc. It's a little gratifying but more often than not, it's depressing.

(This is all you've burned off. You suck. LOLOLOL)

If I don't want my self esteem challenged by watching such pitiful amounts of calorie burning action then I can watch the installed TVs on each machine. TVs for each machine is not a new phenomenon but as I can't watch TV at home (due to mine being broken due possibly to fitness DVDs) then it is a chance for me to catch up on inane variety shows, cultural/nature shows and other gems such as 'Telepathy Girl Ran' or Sumo wrestling. This allows me to gain a 100% accurate view of Japanese life. This is just interesting enough to fill in the vacuous black hole in my head space of TV-related information and comedy quotes.

(quality)

The gym has been a lot of fun to go to so far. I can't tell you if there's been a noticeable change in how I feel but any sort of change for the better is a good thing I would think. Here's hoping anyway.

Learnt My Lesson Well

Part 1.

Do you remember the textbooks you used in high school? I remember the name of the French book we used ('Tapis Volant' for those interested) and if I saw the other textbooks I might recognise them but despite the big role they play in our education they're pretty much forgettable... except the French book apparently.

(Remember this? NO! Because this is the newer version... I can't find a picture of the older one)

I mention this as now that I'm in my second year of education I have already become bored of the textbook. This does not bode well for my future as an educator, but perhaps with a little explanation you will understand the problem. As I stated earlier, I don't really remember much from the text books and I certainly don't have pictures of them here to reminisce. So to make things a little more interesting I'm going to show you pictures of the English textbook here.

Before we go any further let me introduce you to the characters of the books. The same students progress through all three books of junior high school which is convenient. Firstly, meet Kumi and Ken, the archetypal bilingual Japanese female and male of the group.

(possibly the same person)

Next, Emma. Emma hails from Australia as is apparently indicated by her red hair and blue eyes. She also appears to have a full on American accent in the CD's accompanying the text books. She likes to play netball and eat lunch outside with her friends.

(Julia Gillard?)

This is Ming. He is from China. In one lesson everyone goes to his house and we see a kite in the shape of a bat and we learn about his father's old cup. Not to be confused with Ming's cup... which is new.

(I BET he's good at math, and bad at driving)

Paul's blonde locks and freckled face sure does lend him well to his home country of, you guessed it, The USA. He plays football every weekend. His Father at one stage offers Kumi a drink and shows her some African music. What a riot.

(omg it's Matt Damon)

Finally we have Ratna from India who also falls victim to stereotypes. We meet her sari loving sister and learn that Ratna in fact speaks THREE languages. English, Hindi and Marathi. What's Marathi you ask? She never really explains but she does like talking to her friends in it.

(Ratna probably ate the cat behind her, hahaha... racist)

The book is interspersed with various characters that provide new topics of conversation. Such as Ms. Kileo from Africa who is studying biotechnology to make better crops for her home country. She's also interested in Tinga Tinga. A style of African art.

Then there's Mary from Wales who visits the lake district with her family and craps on about Peter Rabbit.

Or some random talking about Ainu culture (Ainu = Native people of Japan).

Or some other douchebag teachers that suck.

These are the characters that guide us through the sub-par Japanese English education. Let's delve head first and get an idea of each of the year levels and the veritable learning landscapes they traverse. Let's start with the basics and visit first year.

First year

We begin with various greetings and phrases including the ubiquitous

A: How are you

B: I'm fine thank you, and you?

A: I'm fine, too. Thank you.

And then progress onto the alphabet. No learning mnemonics. Just practice. This is fine because in Japanese they practice their multiple alphabets by sheer repetition so don't worry about them - They manage. Then we move onto things such as plurals (which don't really exist in Japanese), to he vs. she, various tenses, vocabulary and question sentences. All pretty standard, no? Here's an excerpt.

(Kumi making Paul feel stupid. Bitch)

Second year

After a year of English education the kids pretty much have the alphabet down and should theoretically be able to hold a general conversation. Even if said conversation consists of things such as 'do you like potato?', 'do you like soccer?', 'Do you like apple?' or 'I'm fine thank you, and you?'. Of course, being Japanese they refuse to raise their hand in class or think freely so the structure remains pretty much the same into the second year. Teach the granmmar, read the text, do a brief test and move on. Classic.

This book starts to venture out among the world with a chapter about India, a chapter about the native Japanese people and even a chapter about heat islands! The textbook begins with Emma talking about Australia and how the seasons are different blah blah blah. I will give the book kudos for talking about spring/autumn when it is actually spring/autumn according to the school year but I'm not such a fan of the book suggesting that ALL Australians say 'ta' instead of 'thank you'. No Emma, no.

(Not actually the 'ta' page but you get the idea)

This book spends a loooot of time on the comparative form. Today is hotter than yesterday, or Kris is the most awesome etc. That is until we reach chapter 8, entitled - Landmines and Children. Which is were I should bring up the morbidity of this series of textbooks. Here's a line from the book.

" Cambodia children like to play in forests and fields, just like you and me. But some of them are killed and others are injured. Landmines do this. "

Accompanied by this photo.

(You'd think he'd learn his lesson from the LAST time he walked to school)

Nice.

Third year

The final book of the series and the last book these kids see before they venture off into the world of secondary education or farming. Their last chance to gain a positive view on English so as to want to learn it in the future. We teach them about Sasaki Sadako and how the atomic bomb eventually killed her; About Martin Luther King Jr. and racism in America (including his death); Famine and war in Sudan including this heart warming Pulitzer Prize winning photo; and also about Human Rights in Kosovo.

(Sadako folding a banana)

Did YOU know that the Atomic bomb over Hiroshima killed 130,000 people? I sure didn't! The grammar point for this part was '~~ makes me ~~' , in other words 'The atomic bomb makes me sad'. Subtle. But having said all of that I should point out the book also covers things like hand signing, guide dogs, future careers, World Heritage Sites and such. It all just seems a bit serious...

By the end of the third year some students have a general grasp on English and know lots of useful words, and some not so useful words... such as boycott, highland and refugee. It's a start.

Then they grow to monstrous proportions and crush the world with their gigantic feet)

I like teaching English. I like the teachers I work with, the teachers I don't work with and I love my students. The text book isn't amazing but if it's what I have to use to do what I do then it's worth it. Many of my friends use different text books and so I can really only speculate on them. I don't care. That's all for tonight.


Tomorrow's topic?

I haven't actually written it yet.

The Summer

I made a video about my summer! Check it out! DO IT!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITcZpHRFY54

woo!

Islands

(Sadogashima. a.k.a Sado Island)

Last weekend I went to the beautiful and remote island of Sado off the west coast of Japan. It's a very small island with only about 66,000 people but with over a third of the population being over 65 it's quite ... I guess antiquated? Everyone is very calm and peaceful and the lifestyle seems to be one of simple joys. The only way to access the island is by a ferry which takes 2.5 hours from the mainland so the residents don't leave very often. A long time ago it was a place to banish people who were considered 'difficult' or 'inconvenient' by the Japanese emperor of the time. A place where supposed criminals were sent to colonise? Sound familiar?

Sado is probably most famous for being the home of a famous taiko group called Kodo. Taiko means Japanese drumming and this group is considered to be the best in the world. It's not easy to become a Kodo member though, mind you! There is a two year apprenticeship which is extremely strenuous to say the least. I found a brief documentary on Youtube about the group here, but it is about 15 minutes to watch. Recommended though! Suffice it to say, being a part of the best taiko group in the world is not an easy task. The final result however is a mind-blowing performance of drumming, flutes, cymbals, dancing and many other forms of Japanese culture. Here's an example of the kind of drumming they do.

I should point out though that the video can't really show you how you can feel each drum beat resonate throughout your body. It really is quite a stunning experience. I'll elaborate on it later though ... so look forward to that.

I went to Sado with my friend Hayley whom some of you might remember from previous trips around Japan. We left at 11pm at night from my apartment to drive to the other side of the country and catch the ferry from Niigata. The drive took us 5 hours in entirely dark/night conditions and the ferry took 2.5 hours but EVENTUALLY we reached the island of Sado. I have friends that live in Sado so that was some of the reason to go. The other reason was for a big festival called 'Earth Celebration'. It's a big festival put on by Kodo to maintain and emphasise the importance of cultural exchanges and what not, so it was very international.

(Miyake Taiko. A style of taiko played sideways)

Hayley and I opted to camp so we went to the nearby beach to set up our crap. We bought a tent but absolutely nothing to sleep on. Our reasoning was that we would be too drunk to care or realise the pain of sleeping on nothing, which makes perfect sense right? Fortunately that was pretty much the case! Each night there was a party on the beach so it was fun to meet some new people and get really drunk. Good times had by all for the most part. Each day there were several performances done throughout the town. These ranged from amateur taiko performances to dancing, fire works and light shows, improvisational performances or just people performing on the street. The whole festival had a really friendly, wordly sort of vibe to it which was really refreshing for me.

(Capoeira. just 'cause they can)

(Kids playing around)

As Kodo was sort of the main drawing attraction they performed each night (3 nights) but for the second and third night they were joined by a Corsican Acapella group. Each year Kodo chooses an international act from around the world to perform with them. So the program over the three nights is usually; just Kodo on the first night; then an individual performances of Kodo and the new act; finally both Kodo and the act perform a combination performance with songs using both styles. The tickets for each individual night were about 5000yen ($66AUD) so Hayley and I only went on the first night. It was a 2 hour performance of taiko and it was absolutely amazing.

The man in the documentary/video above states that the first thing we hear is the beating of our mother's heart. These drummers believe, therefore, that the sound of the drums recreates our connection to life. They incorporate this concept into all of their performances. Beginning with a dance piece they had the audience excited from the very start. The joy of the drummers was immediately obvious and infectious as they had the audience do a small dance to the drum beats. The extremely dynamic and catchy drum beats were followed by a beautiful and serene performance a kin to (what I think) the leaves falling in Autumn. Every performance was interesting and unique in it's own aspect and the two hours absolutely flew by as if no time had passed at all. They absolutely exceeded all of my expectations.

After the Kodo we spent the rest of the time enjoying the market, the glorious international foods and the other performances. Right from the get-go everyone was just really laid back and easy going. I guess island life just makes you a more peaceful person because literally everyone was just enjoying themselves and having a good time.

(Peaceful guy enjoying a peaceful burger)

(Fire dancer. Apparently normal dancing isn't good enough for some people)

Hayley and I met some really interesting people too! On the ferry ride over there was a man, his baby and his wife in the same room as us. Turns out he was running a stall to sell clothing made of hemp and it was really good stuff! I bought this weird poncho/cardigan thing which looked super cool and as I'm sure you'll see in the future, IS cool. I also bought some shorts which tie up juuust in case I become super obese and regular shorts don't fit anymore. The last thing I bought was a t-shirt that looks like it has been tie-dyed in coffee but is in fact made from persimmon ... extract? It was cheap so why not?

(mmm... Coffee-persimmony goodness)

This trip to Sado pretty much marks the end of my summer vacation here in Japan unfortunately. Whilst I can't say I did a whole lot, I can say that I did at least one interesting thing each day. Even if that one thing was have lunch/dinner with a friend, or clean my car, or clean my apartment, or clean my dishes or clean... something that needs cleaning (hint. everything.). Still I'm happy with my vacation and I'm looking forward to going back to school.

I hope to go back and visit Sado again one day. I really only saw one portion of the island and I still want to see it's mountains, it's towns and all the secret places in between. I love these small little places around Japan and it's always a pleasure to explore all the little nooks and crannies on the off chance you'll find something amazing. Kodo are performing in Tokyo around September and December so I would love to go see them again, too.

(Happy campers)

C'mon N' Ride It

Yesterday I went to Nasu Highlands Park. I'm pretty sure for most people only two of those words actually made sense (unless highlands is two words?) so I'll relieve your ignorance with the knowledge that Nasu is the name of a place. In the mountains. Very mountainous. Mountaneity. For those craving MORE information then it is an amusement park set in the mountains. Catching on?

I went there with 3 people who I will refer to as Hayley, Honda and Megumi because those are their real names. Every year the conversation school next door has a summer event and this year it's going to be in a theme park. Pretty much the coolest summer event I could think of. Camping? Yuck. Fishing? Gross. Something other than a theme park? No, thank you. So we were doing some preliminary research for a quiz that would be administered to the children upon entering the park in a matter not to dissimilar to what teachers in Australia give students to make excursions less fun.

Driving to the theme park, I was expecting some kind of shitty carousel and broken down rides with chipped paint and lot's of chairs to compensate the lack of rides. A desolate, wasteland of dashed hopes of fun and enjoyment. But as we turned that curved road along the mountain what awaited us was a brightly coloured FUN LAND OF JOY AND BLISS. Muuuuch bigger than I was anticipating and the sheer amount of roller-coaster rails had me wetting my pants with premature excitement.

(Honda on the ferris-wheel. It wasn't pretty.)

Let me break it down for you. I love rides. I practically exist in this human form so as to have something to do until the next roller-coaster appears before me. Disneyland has 2 decent roller coasters. Nasu Highlands Park has FIVE roller-coasters and then heaps of awesome other rides that are scary and not sickeningly cutesy and covered in Mickey. One of them was even called 'Top Gun' and did all kinds of crazy things. There was a Pirate ship, tower-of-terror-esque ride, spinny things, upy-downy things and more. My organs practically secured themselves in preparation of the beating they would receive.

On top of the plethora of rides there were several other bonuses. The weather was overcast all day which meant we didn't melt into a pile of sludge in the hot sun. Beer is allowed in the park (obviously not very compatible with rides) and there was also like no one there! The most we had to wait for a ride was about 4 minutes!

(Going at the speed of AWESOME)

We ended up going on about 18 rides. Some were amazing and awesome, others were just confusing. One ride, called 'Shinpi' was supposed to be a 45 minute wait (if there had been people in the park) and was just a strange ride in darkness followed by strange sculptures and then it finished. If I had of waited 45 minutes (and not the 3 minutes we actually waited) I would have been quite disappointed I think! If you watch the link and understand it - please let me know!

All in all we thought of some good questions for the quiz, went on heaps of rides, got some free chips because Honda taught the waitress Italian, and had a fantastic day. I didn't. even. get. sunburnt. What a wonderful day. I also managed to fulfill a dream of riding at the very front of a legitimately scary roller coaster! Amazing.

(Hayley after said roller-coaster)

Today I saw 'Salt' at the movies. Yeah it's good! Go see it. Good pacing.

Cruel Summer

Webster's dictionary defines summer as "The season between spring and autumn comprising in the northern hemisphere usually the months of June, July, and August or as reckoned astronomically extending from the June solstice to the September equinox"

or more simply "the warmer half of the year".

Those are the actual definitions from the website. It also has
the meaning of a 'year', as in the phrase "A girl of seventeen summers" and the final use is that of "a period of maturing powers". Language classes with Kris. You are just like my students.

As the first definition so eloquently explained I am now in the midst of my second summer in Japan. Last summer I had visits from Sally and David so I was thankfully kept fairly busy. This year however I have no visitors and about 5 weeks spanning out ahead of me. For those of you playing at home I will not be returning to see you this vacation as much as I want to. I decided that the cost was bit too much, but more importantly I thought that this might be my last summer in Japan so I want to experience it properly.

Also let's face it, Melbourne's weather is undesirable right now.

Summer in Japan is humid due to a rainy season towards the beginning of summer. This means it's gross and sticky and very difficult to actually cool down. It's like the sweat is on the skin but the air around you doesn't want it because it's already got enough of it's own. Fortunately I don't have to go to school which means I can sit in front of a fan or something. This kind of heat just saps the energy from my bones. It's hard to ride my bike, walk, or even get in my car.

(This is what rainy season does to fun. Note the man on the float and his amazing hairstyle.)

Regardless of my lack of energy I have managed to keep myself fairly busy so far. I hope to maintain a consistent balance of relaxing and activities so as to avoid boredom creeping in. I may have to keep you updated about how I actually do going about this but...
I thought I'd fill y'all in with what one would normally do in summer in Japan. I'd like to do them if I already haven't so consider this a checklist.

- Beach
- Going to the beach is a little tricky when the prefecture I live in doesn't have a coast line. We have to high tail it to the next prefecture and abuse their beaches. I actually went last week. It took about 2 hours but it was so worth it. Japanese people go all out when it comes to having things like sun tents, parasols, floaty things, chairs to sit in, coolers of stuff and other fun things to play with. It's very Japanese to take a watermelon and smash it with a baseball bat (pinata style... minus pinata). I'm sure it would be more prevalent if watermelons weren't so expensive here but what can ya do.

- Festivals
- Japanese festivals are always lots of fun. I've been to plenty in my time here but I still love them. It's mostly the food I think. Delicious, delicious festival food. I went to a festival last weekend that had outdoor kabuki performances. Kabuki is a kind of traditional Japanese theatre (lots of twanging and strange voices). In two weeks the big festival in Otawara will be happening. It's gonna be awesome. It rained last year which sucked so here's hoping it comes good this year!

- Garden
- The small garden (if you can call it that) has mutated into a forest of weeds. I did a bangin' job and weeded but then the rainy season came and pretty much destroyed all of my hard work. I have a pine tree to trim, a new path to reinforce, spider webs to ... walk into, and obviously weeds to pull out. Lot's to do. This isn't very high on my list but I'll keep it in reserve for when I get bored.

- Travel
- I've got a few ideas for what I want to do regarding travel around Japan. I want to keep it cheap so I might just go for one decent sized journey and hang around here for the most part. I can't decide whether I want to go north or south though. I've got a friend to the south (Osaka) which would be heaps of fun to visit but I've been there before. Alternatively, When I was in a semi-local bar recently there was an Australian guy who actually owns a house on the northern-most island of Japan (Hokkaido) and has offered that up. I want to keep things cheap so I'm thinking camping.

- Onsen
- A.K.A. hot springs. Personally I'm not too keen on the concept of going from hot weather into very hot pools of water. Some people are keen though so... great?

- Barbeques
- Grab a bunch of people and have a Japanese style barbeque. Why not? Before you all start thinking of snags in bread and sauce then THINK AGAIN! Instead there is thinly sliced meat on a grill that is then dipped into a special barbeque sauce. It's good but you gotta hold chopsticks and the dipping bowl so it's really a whole hand affair. I'd buy some sausages to recreate home but they're just so embarrassingly awful here.

(A Japanese man made us stand here for photos with these miniature Kabuki peeps)

There are more things but then my list could go on for a long time and I can't be bothered! Blame the heat! I want to do at least one of all of these and hopefully much, much more. So don't get angry that I won't be visiting you all, it'll be all the sweeter when I do eventually return. Which is looking to be around February....... Don't get angry about that either.

Until next time!!

kris.

On Dancefloors

The other night I was invited by some friends to go down to Tokyo to visit a nightclub. How's that for foreshadowing?

I wanted to go because I haven't really experienced a Japanese night club in the traditional sense of the word so later that night I was on the bullet train with some pals drinking next to a 6 year old strange American girl playing her DS. It seems the only people that will sit next to foreigners on the bullet train is other foreigners. I don't think the girl could read the Japanese on my can so I maintained it was soft drink.

The nightclub in question was a nightspot called 'Ageha' and a brief perusal of the website prior to arrival for the dress code (can I wear shorts? Yes I can!) revealed that the night was some kind of special event with a DJ I had never heard of playing songs I had never heard of. This 'special event' carried the hefty price tag of 4000yen entry which translates to ... wait for it ... no I can't even tell you how much that is in Australian dollars. It disgusts me.

Ageha is one of Tokyo's biggest nightclubs with a 3,000 person capacity and is separated out into a main hall and various other spaces around the place. Upon getting inside it seemed that despite the amount of people it still seemed quite spacious, almost like a warehouse, and the main hall was being DJ'd my an astronaut. The astronaut was playing the Japanese version of dance music described as 'candy trance'. I'll give you a key example soon.

Japanese people can't dance. They either break it down with ridiculous over the top performances or awkwardly sway from side to side. This is why the astronaut was playing music that never had a stable point and instead was always constantly leading up to some point to cause everyone to jump around. Jumping, it seems, is a valid form of dance for Japanese people.
Not being satisfied 'dancing' with the douchebags at the back some of us forced our way as close to the front as possible. We got about 5 metres from the front but from then on there was some kind of people-lattice to stop any kind of free movement beyond that point. We were happy enough dancing away to sickeningly poppy music until the astronaut was finished and all of sudden we were crushed to about 2 metres from the stage.

Cue Meg.

Meg was some lady who came on stage that suddenly caused the predominantly male crowd to surge forward in order to see her. Meg appeared to be somewhat famous. Meg was the reason my entry was 4000yen. Dancing to Meg was difficult with no room to move. Meg Meg Meg.
This is Meg and this is the sound she was producing.



For the rest of the night we mostly spent outside around the pool area. The pool was more for show and wasn't really meant to be swum in... and it wasn't! Because this is Japan and in Japan people do the right thing (that's why they can have beer vending machines). The DJ outside was playing some good music too. We mulled around the venue losing each other, finding each other and then losing each other again until the sky had turned a light grey colour and from there we each made our way homes on the first train.

All in all I would say it was a lot of fun but it was also quite expensive - not something I could do very often. I would also say that nightclubs in Australia are a lot better in terms of music and prices. On the other hand, the people in Melbourne nightclubs are often just awful so I'm afraid Tokyo trumps Melbourne in that respect.

So that was my night in Tokyo.