Italy - Parma

"Why Parma?" Is the question that almost every single person asked me when visiting the city. Indeed Parma is not widely known as a tourist hotspot in Italy and indeed I can see why. My decision to visit Parma was made simply because I was meeting friends in Cinque Terre and the transit from Parma was fairly convenient. Of course people know the word 'Parma' from parmesan cheese and chicken parmagiana so you'd think there'd be some life to the city but alas it was not so.

(I took this photo because it was so irritating to walk on this path. It's like just finish the path you guys. Just finish it!)

You know apparently it's the European capital of food! Who would have thought? Granted I did have one helluva pizza while I was there (2nd best pizza in Italy) but immediately after it poured. I mean it really bucketed down. I got to the hostel completely and utterly saturated to the bone. In response another guest simply looked at me and said 'wow',

My shoes took two days to dry out completely.

On the second day I spent some time meandering about the city hoping to find some kind of awesome redeeming quality. It's a small city so it's easy to walk around in but it's pretty boring. After about 2 or 3 hours the city received a tick in a box and I wondered home. Opposite the hostel there was a really big supermarket which I enjoyed walking around in. Supermarkets in Italy aren't really like Coles or Safeway. They're quite small with limited products but not this one! I got some fresh cheese, some proscuitto, some bread and a host of other delicious items then sat in the hostel making a huge mess. GO ITALY.

(A big square. So rare you guys. No other European cities have these)

Before coming to Parma I was struggling to find accomodation (because SO many people want to go there?!) and as it turns out there was a blogging convention there so a lot of the hostels were being booked out from that. I thought this would mean there'd be heaps of interesting younger people but despite the hostel surprisingly being 'booked up' I only saw evidence of 5 other people in the entire place. Needless to say I didn't really strike up any new friendships during my stay there.

I took maybe 3 photos in Parma? I feel like it's one of those cities when I'm 50 I'll be like "I don't think I've been there before ... or maybe I have? I'm not sure". Still I don't regret going there I just probably wouldn't go there again any time soon.

(Industrial building rocking my Parmesan WORLD)

The parmesan was pretty good. Chicken Parmagiana isn't really from Parma so... didn't eat it.

 

(take me away train)

Italy - Bologna

Bologna is probably my favourite city so far. That's no Baloney HAAAAAAAA... no yeah. It's a smallish city that's located right in the heart of Italy. As such most trains pass through there on their transit so I decided to stop over for a few days while I plan from there. Didn't plan a thing and as it turns out ended up staying 3 nights instead.

(Projection on face. Reason enough to stay)

I guess if I had to say why it's my favourite city so far I'd have to say;

- It's small (everywhere is easily walkable)
- The hostel I was at was amazing. Very autonomous, central and had cool people.
- It's touristy but not very much so. Hardly so.
- Lots to do that ISN'T a cathedral or church.
- I had some sublime weather while I was there.

Let me elaborate. A long time ago (I learned, and subsequently forgot the year) Bologna had a massive wall around the outside which as a matter of principle kept it quite small. It's expanded a bit since then obviously but not very much so. A walk to the other side of town would take maybe 20 minutes?

(Unless you accidentally got caught up drinking here)

And it's because of the size that gives the city that kind of liveliness. Almost all streets will have something happening on them. Shops, people, plazas etc. It didn't have that kind of derelict feel some cities get when you walk into the wrong areas. It is essentially a university town (one of the first uni's in Europe) so there is a huge presence of young people and with that has come a lot of cheap shops and alternative bars and cafes.

Things I did in Bologna:

Climbed the super tall tower in the middle of town that's over 900 years old. It's really tall you guys. Really old too. Much older than I am. Much taller too.

(View from the top you guyzzzz)

Went to the anatomical wax museum. No Marilyn Monroe's here ... just wax models of conjoined twins, numerous (numerousss) birth defects, limbs without skin, organ structures and much more. I found myself talking to the nice man who curates it and as conversation dried up we found ourself looking at wax models of semi-hermaphroditic sexual organs. Awesome!

(deformed child skeleton BOY BAND)

Hauled ass up a butt load of steps to reach a cathedral on the hill. Had some friends for this challenge and we bought 3 bottles of red wine (Blood of Christ) to give us the energy we needed. A giant gate blocked us at the top. It was closed. I feel they should have a sign or something at the bottom to stop this exact scenario from playing out.

Went to the museum of the history of Bologna. There was like a 3D video, some cool imagery, splashes of modern art but it was essentially a history museum which was a bit of a massive drainer. I liked at the end though how they want to accumulate all the stories people have of Bologna. You can put a post-it note saying whatever you want onto a big map of Bologna. I won't tell you my contribution but it's up there.

(contributastic!)

They don't eat Spaghetti Bolognese here (a fact that they looooove to tell foreigners) instead it's tagliatelle al ragu. For me ragout is like a thick, rich, tomato-y sauce. I think in Italian it just means minced meat with a few spices which they plonk on pasta. It's good but I just wanted some more sauce. Something to really lube up the pasta. You know? yeah.

On top of all this they've got these really nifty porticos all throughout the city which are like undercover hallways running along every street. So if necessary you could walk all over the city while it's raining without getting wet. Fortunately for me though the weather was beautiful.

(Don't ask me why one is leaning. I didn't make it)

As it turns out, as soon as I left Bologna to go to Parma the weather turned crappy and I just got completely saturated on my way back from sight seeing in Parma. Let me just say my blog about Parma is going to be quite short. Look forward to it!


PS.
Now I'm actually off to do a kind of farm stay. I registered on a website but didn't want to pay the 20 euro membership fee to contact anyone but as luck would have it a man has approached me to help him fix his boat in return for a room and food. He lives by Lake Como if you want to research it. It'll be around two weeks then I'll be off to the UK to start working! Good job Italy! I've still got Parma and Cinque Terre so I'll space them out over the next two weeks. Good time management Kris!

Italy - Venice

I think in my head I had envisaged myself staying in Venice for a bit of time. However as I kept meeting people I kept hearing that a day trip is the best option and that it's too expensive to stay there. Around the time I hit Bologna I was a little stuck as to my future route; Bologna is very central in Italy and accommodation was becoming harder and harder to find the further north I went...

So I decided to do Venice as a day trip instead.

The morning of was plagued with a missed train, an hour wait, then a 40 minute delay on the next train. This essentially cut down my time there by about 2 hours. At one stage I literally thought to myself "If the train doesn't leave in 5 minutes I'm getting off" but lo and behold - three minutes later we have movement! The pictures I'm putting in this post don't really relate to the immediate text before or after.

(This is a picture to break up the text. Keep reading)

The trip from Bologna is about 2 hours on the regional train. It stops quite frequently and at every station I had that uncertainty as a huge amount of people get off and I think maybe there's some kind of transfer I've missed; until a lot more people get on and I get back to my book (World War Z).

From Venice train station I just kind of started walking. I didn't have a map and I didn't really know what was around but the walking path I was choosing seemed engaging enough to just keep going. I stumbled upon magnificent large open squares, a lot of canals, cute bridges across these canals, people in gondolas, private speed boats, Venetian masks, Venetian glass, expensive restaurants, cheap panninerias and a strange place so well hidden amongst the thinnest of network of alleyways that I was far too intimidated to knock. I felt like a foolish tourist standing at the door... I don't think it was meant to be found by the likes of me.

(Look at that crystal clear water)

All throughout I thought to myself how there weren't that many tourists. Sure they were scattered around but honestly not that many. There was a pack of 5 French guys who seemed to be following my route. Every time I found a dead end I'd have to walk back past them sheepishly but every time they kept going as if they didn't know exactly what had happened to me. I saw the same young guy riding his speed boat slowly through the canals (I'd catch him as I crossed bridges) until I eventually saw him stop and pick up his girlfriend from her house and they lazily floated away together. Saw a cathedral, the university, a band walking around and lots more.

That was until I hit the motherload of tourist areas - the grand canal - and boyyy was I wrong about the lack of tourists. You know that book I mentioned? It's about a Zombie Apocalypse and how humanity survives it (if barely). It describes how zombies are attracted to any kind of noise or stimulus and it moans loudly to draw more. Soon the source of the stimulus is completely inundated with all of the surrounding zombies until what ever drew the attention ceases to exist. Welcome to the Grand Canal. Good book though. If you're into Zombies. Which everyone should be.

(Iphone's focus/shadowing wins again!)

Whatever I found genuine about Venice was so warped along this 'grand canal'. Gondola guides dressed in ridiculous costumes, people clearly not from Italy selling cheap masks, hotels at every corner, gelati shops, restaurants with 'tourist menus' and of course a McDonalds. I tried hard to avoid this large area as I made my way back to the train station but I kept meeting dead ends that faced into the water. The city's geography was herding me onto this onslaught of slow walking pedestrians that stop suddenly and aren't aware of how much space they take up.

All in all I spent about 5 hours in Venice and of that about 4.5 hours was exploration. I'd like to think I saw a fair whack of the city in that time but a friend later on assured me that I could stay there for weeks and still have things to find - I don't doubt him. Maybe I'll return and properly research accommodation next time. Maybe I'll get a boat like this guy.

(Go you good thing)

The train ride was uneventful on the way back. No delays this time and no missed trains. Swishhhh. All in all Venice was spectacular. I was hesitant to draw that Zombie analogy. Ha. It just fit so well. All these strangely tanned people shuffling along the water banks in search of food. I don't want to imply I was any different as I was also a tourist but come on! IMMERSION! At least I try!

Italy - Florence

Florence is famous for leather; I didn't buy any but I saw some. Just don't have much need for leathery items in my life, you know? I hear that one can actually eat leather and gain some (if minimal) sustenance... I didn't eat any either.

In fact I must say I didn't really do much at all in Florence. I spent a total of 3 nights in a hostel just down from The Duomo - the more interesting cathedral that has free entry ... which is just as well as inside it's really boring. It's not even pretty inside. Inside was visited in about 4 minutes. The outside however is amazing. I only really ever saw it in the afternoon or at night as these have become my active periods but I assume in the morning it's just as impressive. It became a beacon for me if I got lost.

(MY EYESSSS)

At night I guess is where I spent most of my time in Florence. The first night I caught up with the Aussies that I have seen all over. Really fun night. Second night I went out with the friend who came to Florence with me. Third night was a bit strange and involved a lot of walking to meet people (friends of the friend), not much drinking on my part, and then more walking back to the hostel (with the help of DUOMO).

I met a friend in Rome who also made the journey to Florence and we arranged to stay at the same hostel. We were staying over the weekend period so I'm a bit embarrassed to say I didn't get to see much of the city while it was light out. What I DID see was pretty cool. I walked down to the riverside area and there was an exposed part of the concrete under the river due to a lack of rainfall. After a quick jumping of a fence, I found people were just lying around, reading, writing, drawing all while next to them the river was roaring down it's path.

(Lying, sitting, standing. Levels. Interesting photography. Hashtag)

This discovery was during the one real day of sight seeing I had. I was going to visit the Uffizi which is supposed to be one of the best art museums in Europe but the line was suuuuuper long and I guess art isn't something I'm willing to wait in line for - especially when the weather outside is beautiful and the rest of the city is calling. Truth be told, the internet at the hostel was appalling so a lot of time was spent wondering around deciding what to eat and if the place has wifi we can use. A lot of places will advertise wifi only to have it 'be broken' after you've already ordered food.

I had a moment on a bridge watching the river and listening to music but in the back of my mind I was worried someone would push me into the river. Apparently this is a completely irrational worry but I had mapped out where I'd swim to get out and everything. Don't worry everyone - I'm all prepared.

(I'd have to swim to the left I think. Stressful)

Somewhere during the second day I was talking to a nice guy from Sweden and I mentioned that I didn't really know where to go from Florence and he just piped up that he has some train tickets to Bologna that he wasn't going to use and gave them to me. That's a saving of 24 euro which is good because I'm just now starting to realise how obscenely expensive Italian hostels are becoming!

The problem, I feel, is that every hostel only seems to offer these 'private' rooms which means if you book them then you're expected to fill the whole room (as in, pay the fare for the bed for every bed in the room). Being a solo traveller it's not really an option for me and yet when I'm seeing a bed in a 6 bed dorm for 30 god damned euros in BOLOGNA. I'm kind of left shaking my head. Also because I'm travelling so last minute the cheapest hostels often don't have any room which suuucks. Tonight I'm going to plan the rest of my trip. It has to happen.

In any case, I've got three nights in Bologna (including one night in a HOTEL - whatttt) then I'm thinking Venice. Just so you're all in the loop I'm thinkinnnggg of going through Parma to get to La Spezia (More specifically Cinque Terre) then flying from Milan to London to get to WORK! I'm sort of starting to feel a bit jaded by just going from big city to big city. I'd like to spend some time out in relative countryside for a while ... Hmmm we'll see what I can come up with.

Italy - Rome

(READ KRIS' BLOG)

Just had to sprint to catch this train. Turns out '2ES' doesn't mean platform 2 it means the far away platform that forms at the tail end of platform 1. A nice Italian man gave me unspoken permission for me to hop scotch across the railway lines with an encouraging smile and a quick 'hurry!'. Platform 2ES. What is that.

People keep saying that Rome is dirty but it's actually a really beautiful city. 'Full of old shit' as the hostel manager would describe and indeed there is quite a lot of it. You'll be walking down a street and then bam! Ruins. So many ruins. Some more intact than others but all of them pretty... yeah ruinous.

(I mean ... It's certainly not 'new')

The Colosseum is quite a hearty and popular pile of stone of course. I went in to have a visit (how could I not?) but it's really quite shabby inside. I was hoping for an insight of what it would have looked like back in the day but no. There was a walking tour but I don't know what it is about them... For one I don't like the extra cost and often the pace is quite slow. I'm a turbo powered tourist so I just want to read information plaques, look around, have a sit or a lay down somewhere in the sun and throw in a few happy snaps here and there. I don't need no audio guide, booklet or multimedia thing. Pass. Unless it's free.

(It's really old you guys. Super old)

Before getting all Vaticany we decided we wanted to have a bit of a rest so we had a beer by a marble statue depicting various scenes of unpleasantness. St. Peters Basilica is quite a behemoth of a building made all the more prominent by the LINE of PEOPLE waiting to get in. It's free though (surprising) and it's a very pretty basilica. On the other hand, to visit the Sistine Chapel you have to pay to get to the museum (16 euro) then wander around looking at things until you get to the Chapel at the end. Having said that though ... some of the marble statues in the museum were very, very well made. I have come to the conclusion from the multitude of marble statues I have behold that apparently all Romans in the day were completely ripped.

(Not being religious is awesome)

The Sistine chapel was pretty cool. The silence inside is punctuated by loud  officials telling you to be quiet and you can't take any photos. Not that I would really need to - all the artwork is covered on the interwebs anyway. One does get a really sore neck from just looking upwards though.

(This also required a lot of neck craning but at least this time there's proof)

On the second last day I was chatting with a friend at a bar by the Colosseum when a group of Americans next to us leaned over and asked if we would like to see the Priscilla Queen of the Desert musical with them as they had two spare tickets. Of course it was in Italian except when they busted out into song but as a show it was very colourful, engaging and very Australian. I really enjoyed it actually - there I said it. Afterwards I got a lift home through the city by one of the aforementioned Americans on his scooter moped thing which was a really fantastic experience and a new way to see the eternal city.

So now I'm on the way to Florence (Firenze). I'm unsure as to what my travel route should be from this point but I'll work something out. Hostels in Italy are quite expensive and quite poor quality which is annoying. Case in point, rocked up to the hostel in Rome only to discover the room we were in was a 10 minute walk from the reception area. Drag.

(The whole time in Rome I didn't eat anything Italian. Had some Indian, some Chinese, kebabs, baguettes and yeah ... beer. I had to revitalise my desire for the food of this country. The Indian man said he couldn't make my butter chicken spicy though which is absolutely ridiculous. Just cut up some chillies and throw it in? Desperately needed them too. When having Chinese the lady at the restaurant was manically trying to get us drunk for some reason. Not this time lady. Not this time.)

Italy - Napoli

Naples, Napoli, a city that lies somewhere around the upper shin of Italy. In the shadow of Vesuvius, by the water, and one of the top 10 most dangerous cites in Europe. Apparently a huuuge amount of Cocaine is pushed through the Napoli port and almost all businesses are owned by the Camorra (Napoli's own Mafia). Weeeeeeee.

I was still quite noticeably sick from my time in Barcelona so I wasn't really in the mood to be sociable in the slightest. Not that the people at the hostel were overly interesting but I kind of largely kept to myself and did my own thing. In spite of this however I found myself being drawn to Napoli's maelstrom of a city. There's this sense that people have carved out a living in the streets of Napoli and over time the city has just evolved into this functional, if haphazard, mess. Mopeds are everywhere and they do whatever the hell they want to. It's like a crazy game of Frogger just crossing the street.

(It's pretty ... until you want to cross a road)

Napoli is of course famous for supposedly being the birthplace of pizza and this has been a fact I've used to justify my over consumption of the food stuff. Which brings me to my next observation. Restaurants in Napoli only seem to serve Italian food. Almost every restaurant will be serving you pizza or pasta with some antipasti or basic meat dishes. Every restaurant! Lots of carbs. Carbtopia. Too many carbs. I've been craving some kind of Indian or Chinese food just to have something else on my palette.

(hnnnggggg why do you do this to me pizza?)

Somewhere amongst my snivelling, coughing, and obvious unpleasantness I had a 'day of death' wherein I visited two catacombs then a graveyard. The catacombs were a bit boron and as an English speaker I was sheepishly presented with a pamphlet that explained all the information in English that the guide was saying in Italian. Fair enough. English shouldn't be spoken everywhere! Afterwards I wandered through a really seedy neighbourhood to find this graveyard and it was fascinating! It's off a regular road, has free entry, is completely empty of people, and has rows upon rows of human skulls and bones in this big cavern built into a cliff. That jarring sense of walking along a street with people busy on mopeds then to be thrown into this quiet place of death was really, amazingly, bizarre.

(The Flintstones)

A few days in I met up with some Australians I had met previously in my travels. They chose to stay at the same hostel; thus breaking my antisocial streak. Our game plan was to rent a car and go for a drive along the Amalfi coast which was achieved to great success. Dom was the only one with the international driver's license but I was the only 25 year old which we needed to get the cheaper price. We were fortunate to get a nice guy who just pushed it through the system without many questions.

(Dom driving in pure whiteness)

On the way we stopped in at Pompeii which as we all know was devoured by Vesuvius way back when (79AD for those playing at home). It was interesting to wander around the streets but it was just essentially a ruin and I've been to many a ruin so far. There were a lot of areas we couldn't access even though that's probably where all the interesting things are... We only spent maybe two hours there then headed for the coast. A lot of that time we lay in the Colosseum talking about the movies Gladiator and Troy. TAKE IT! IT'S YOURS!

(We lay pretty much right there. For quite a while)

The coast itself though was stunning. It's absolutely beautiful and it greatly exceeded my expectations. The villages that have been built into the sheer mountains that cascade down to the bluest water at the base were fantastic. It was a delight to follow the winding roads that took us through the townscapes and through the hills only to have another beautiful sight behold with each turn. How's that for a positive collection of adjectives! I've never written such nice things without sarcasm or cynicism. I'm exhausted.

(I look pretty grim. Didn't realise the photo was actually being taken right then)

We had organised to stay in a bed and breakfast in Agerola (just inland a bit from the coast. Old town. Nothing there). It was without a doubt one of the strangest nights I've encountered yet on my trip. We were the only people there in this big building (this includes no owners being present). We couldn't find the light switches, the phone didn't work, the breakfast hadn't been cleaned up from the morning before. The place in general was just creepy.

We decided to counter our fear by drinking (we just took some wine from their bar) and then pretty much shat our pants when all of a sudden the lights came on around 1:30am and the two owners rocked up. No real reason to their absence and no real apologies either? Turns out that breakfast that wasn't cleaned up was just sort of the breakfast buffet... As in the next morning when we went down it was unchanged and that was it. No cereal, no bread or anything like that ... just a bowl of old fruit, some juice that had been sitting there for days, this strange kind of old jam slice and some packaged fried bread stuff. We complained to them and didn't have to pay the 20 euro on the wine we stole/drank. A small victory.

Had some amazing pizza in Agerola though! Best so far!

Next is Rome!

Spain - Barcelona

I chastised myself in my travel journal on the plane flight here to Naples for not writing in it for about 6 days. The six days I spent in Barcelona in fact. You'd think I'd have something to say about it wouldn't you?

You'd be right!

Barcelona isn't so much Spanish as it is Catalonian. Catalonia (Catalunya) was an old country that was absorbed into Spain a while ago but the citizens are NOT HAPPY about it. There are flags all over the place, everything is in Catalan before Spanish, and it's all up there in government to try and reclaim their independence. This essentially means that whatever Spanish I picked up on my trip was rendered useless. Not really. Kinda really.

(You tell it graffiti-ist! I trust everything you say.)

You know I'm in two minds about Barcelona. I feel like towards the start I didn't really enjoy it as much as the other Spanish cities but then when I spent some time alone walking around, chowing down on some bread, cheese and chorizo, I really started to get into it. The first few days I spent there were Easter Friday and so on which meant there were crowds everywherreee. Religion is a massive pain in Spain. Pain in Spain.

DID YOU KNOW - that before the Barcelona Olympics (1992) there were no beaches in Barcelona? They had the sand brought in from Egypt; The Palm trees are from Hawaii. I was walking around the Olympic site to see if it matched up to the more recent Olympic sites (not that I've been to them) and concluded that the stadium itself was very underwhelming but the actual Olympic village was really pretty. I had a nap on a patch of grass in the sunshine.

Of course about halfway through my time in Barcelona I got a scratchy throat - to which I responded by getting pretty drunk - to which my body responded by just plain giving up the good fight. I'm still sick now as I write this. I am coughing like a madman which isn't really conducive to an 8 bed dorm room now is it? Also it kind of made me lose my appetite a bit so when I climbed a mountain the other day (Mont Serrat - beautiful, beautiful place) I got those pre-fainting heart palpitations but I made it in the end! I'm sure Mum is beside herself reading this but honestly it was only in the last 300 metres or so and we had pastries at the end to celebrate (and get my blood sugar levels back to normal). No sweat!

(See?)

A few days before the end a German guy moved into my room. We had a really awkward initial conversation because, and get this, he thought my accent was German and then was confused why we were talking English to each other. I was half asleep at the time which didn't help. We became quick friends. My accent has gotten a lot weaker it seems but I'm told I'm super understandable because of it by a butt load of foreigners - I wish there was a trophy for understandability. Not that I'd want to carry it around in my pack or anything... or maybe it could be a ribbon.

I've arrived in Naples earlier today and am about to do the slow move upwards through Italy! Hopefully I get well soon.

(I saw this in Barcelona, too.)